Friday, September 30, 2005
sad revelations
so i was thinking about my past relationships and general involvement with the men in my life. okay, this is an understatement because i did a huge analysis on excel regarding this subject, analyzing criteria such as duration of relationship, who broke up with whom, motivation for that involvement, etc. i'd show you the spreadsheet, but let me refrain from displaying the extent of my geekdom. bottom line is... i'm a crappy person, borderline ho. not like when we tease sexy franny and call her a ho. but really, truly. when i think of my past, i'm filled with shame and guilt. and all i can think of is thank God that He forgives and thank God that i've turned away from that life. i always said my guardian angel worked overtime during those years. she's had a breather for the last 3, thankfully.
all this thought solidifies my commitment... i made a promise to myself after my last relationship that i need to stay single for awhile. a long while. for some reason, when i talk to God about it, the period of time He seems to tell me is 4-5 years. of course, i start to freak out because that's a long time to not be with anyone-for me anyway. but prayer after prayer, that seems to be the message He's saying to me. it sounds so long and lonely and a lil scary. but at the same time, it's been such a good 4 months so far. i've developed my relationships more, have had more focus; i actually have goals now and are taking steps toward them. i've been leading quite a healthy lifestyle. He's working on me. and hopefully He's working on my future husband too. may i respect and love him like he deserves.
all this thought solidifies my commitment... i made a promise to myself after my last relationship that i need to stay single for awhile. a long while. for some reason, when i talk to God about it, the period of time He seems to tell me is 4-5 years. of course, i start to freak out because that's a long time to not be with anyone-for me anyway. but prayer after prayer, that seems to be the message He's saying to me. it sounds so long and lonely and a lil scary. but at the same time, it's been such a good 4 months so far. i've developed my relationships more, have had more focus; i actually have goals now and are taking steps toward them. i've been leading quite a healthy lifestyle. He's working on me. and hopefully He's working on my future husband too. may i respect and love him like he deserves.
cloudy and dreary
so i'm by the window now, right? the weather went from sunny to cloudy today and it feels sooo late in the day now. the day has dragged on forever and the weather is making my mood somber. not very friday-like at all! boo to shorter days and cloudy weather.
courtesy of verwin's friendster blog
FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing
a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet,
with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that
many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're
getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I
believe this is the #1 mistake people make when
they date. Choosing a life partner should never be
based on love.
Though this may sound "not politically correct",
there's a profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather,
love is the result of a good marriage. When the other
ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me
say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship
on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if
you're serious about finding and keeping a life
partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If
you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time
to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each
other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You
need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow
together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people
out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work,
you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom
line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings
and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your
relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate
openly with this person. The basis of having good
communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get
"punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts
and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive
person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express
your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on
this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive
person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher
of mine defines a good person as "someone who is
always
striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about
your significant other:What do they do with their
time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority
is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the
world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth
and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will
put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any
relationship work is the ability to give. By giving,
we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to
others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-
absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be
nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers,
etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do
they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't
have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You
can be sure that someone who treats others poorly,
will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change
about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone
with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after
they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You
can probably expect someone to change after marriage
for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person
the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry
them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and
treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more
with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are
dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you
get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great
feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your
finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble
because you didn't do your homework.
Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be
loved from a distance..
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go
of or at least minimize your time with draining,
negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere
relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention..
Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones
encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on
a path of growth uphill and which ones are going
downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel
better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or
don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of
mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will
become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front
row and who should be moved to the balcony of your
life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one
eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem
make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open,
and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or
that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the
relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment,
and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone
else responsible for your happiness or responsible for
your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call,
touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING
INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND
ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and
dishonesty; and pain will replace it.
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing
a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet,
with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that
many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're
getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I
believe this is the #1 mistake people make when
they date. Choosing a life partner should never be
based on love.
Though this may sound "not politically correct",
there's a profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather,
love is the result of a good marriage. When the other
ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me
say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship
on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if
you're serious about finding and keeping a life
partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If
you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time
to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each
other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You
need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow
together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people
out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work,
you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom
line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings
and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your
relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate
openly with this person. The basis of having good
communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get
"punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts
and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive
person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express
your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on
this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive
person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher
of mine defines a good person as "someone who is
always
striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about
your significant other:What do they do with their
time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority
is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the
world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth
and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will
put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any
relationship work is the ability to give. By giving,
we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to
others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-
absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be
nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers,
etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do
they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't
have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You
can be sure that someone who treats others poorly,
will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change
about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone
with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after
they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You
can probably expect someone to change after marriage
for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person
the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry
them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and
treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more
with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are
dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you
get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great
feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your
finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble
because you didn't do your homework.
Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be
loved from a distance..
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go
of or at least minimize your time with draining,
negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere
relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention..
Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones
encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on
a path of growth uphill and which ones are going
downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel
better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or
don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of
mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will
become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front
row and who should be moved to the balcony of your
life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one
eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem
make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open,
and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or
that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the
relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment,
and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone
else responsible for your happiness or responsible for
your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call,
touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING
INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND
ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and
dishonesty; and pain will replace it.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
the healing retreat
you know when you read through old blogs... well, i actually hand wrote some journals during my retreat in santa cruz. i wanted to transcribe them to this electronic venue. but just haven't had time to do so quite yet. but i was reading what i wrote... and i'm sooo glad i journalled that weekend. there were so many revelations and so much joy and peace in my writing. it's wonderful to be able to relive that.
some of the things that were revealed to me that weekend:
~ i didn't know i had such anger issues regarding my immigration to the united states when i was a child!
~ the super amazing power of prayer! it was amazing how we were able to pray very specifically for exactly what the stranger in front of us needed.
~ i didn't know that men loved so deeply. i think this lack of understanding led me to not take care of their hearts as i should have. i guess i had the notion that they're these big, tough guys, so they can take it. but they have this amazing capacity to love their spouses and the Lord. they just don't show it as easily as women do, but when they do, my God, there is awesome power in it. i grew a lot of respect for men in general that weekend.
~ i fell... literally. and i fell for Him, because of His Spirit. it was the first time and it was just so strange! as i stood in the line to receive the blessing, i was so curious as to how people fell (was it like fainting? do you get dizzy first? or weak?) and why... and they fully expected it to happen, as the facilitators requested volunteers to be "catchers". i'm all, catchers, for what? and when it was my turn, i fell. it was just the most peaceful thing. i didn't wanna sleep, cuz i was too excited, but i also didn't want to get up. i loved just lying there in His peace. weirdddd, i know!
~ philippians 4:4-7
~ men's greatness lie in exposing their vulnerabilities. i have immense respect and admiration for those who can be humble enough to share their weaknesses, while still crediting their strength to the love of God. i met many honorable men that weekend.
~ my greatness... i have none. my purpose in this life is not greatness. i realize that. but somehow, i do recognize it in others. and i have this way of encouraging them to achieve their greatness. i just bring others' greatness out of them to share with the rest of the God's people. that's my gift.
some of the things that were revealed to me that weekend:
~ i didn't know i had such anger issues regarding my immigration to the united states when i was a child!
~ the super amazing power of prayer! it was amazing how we were able to pray very specifically for exactly what the stranger in front of us needed.
~ i didn't know that men loved so deeply. i think this lack of understanding led me to not take care of their hearts as i should have. i guess i had the notion that they're these big, tough guys, so they can take it. but they have this amazing capacity to love their spouses and the Lord. they just don't show it as easily as women do, but when they do, my God, there is awesome power in it. i grew a lot of respect for men in general that weekend.
~ i fell... literally. and i fell for Him, because of His Spirit. it was the first time and it was just so strange! as i stood in the line to receive the blessing, i was so curious as to how people fell (was it like fainting? do you get dizzy first? or weak?) and why... and they fully expected it to happen, as the facilitators requested volunteers to be "catchers". i'm all, catchers, for what? and when it was my turn, i fell. it was just the most peaceful thing. i didn't wanna sleep, cuz i was too excited, but i also didn't want to get up. i loved just lying there in His peace. weirdddd, i know!
~ philippians 4:4-7
~ men's greatness lie in exposing their vulnerabilities. i have immense respect and admiration for those who can be humble enough to share their weaknesses, while still crediting their strength to the love of God. i met many honorable men that weekend.
~ my greatness... i have none. my purpose in this life is not greatness. i realize that. but somehow, i do recognize it in others. and i have this way of encouraging them to achieve their greatness. i just bring others' greatness out of them to share with the rest of the God's people. that's my gift.
august
find your birth month and read the description. which month are you? was the description accurate? mine was pretty dead on.
JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious
Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and
weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited
or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
_______________________________________________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike
unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside........Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to
learn to show emotions.
_________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality, Sexy, Affectionate, Shy and Reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and
generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory........ Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their
lover can see.
_________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain).
Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the
ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the
arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to
show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up Easily bored. Fussy.
Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive........
Stubborn.
_________________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides
others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary
and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes
to be quiet. Homey person. Waits for friends Never looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved.
___________________________________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
_________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very
confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to
look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings........ Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
_________________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not
care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair.
Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in
personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative
but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is
a will,! there is s a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited........ Well-built and tough Deep love and emotions.
Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable.
_________________________________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy Strong lover. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Loves to love. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions.
JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious
Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and
weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited
or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
_______________________________________________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike
unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside........Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to
learn to show emotions.
_________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality, Sexy, Affectionate, Shy and Reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and
generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory........ Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their
lover can see.
_________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain).
Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the
ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the
arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to
show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up Easily bored. Fussy.
Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive........
Stubborn.
_________________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides
others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary
and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes
to be quiet. Homey person. Waits for friends Never looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved.
___________________________________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
_________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very
confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to
look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings........ Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
_________________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not
care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair.
Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in
personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative
but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is
a will,! there is s a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited........ Well-built and tough Deep love and emotions.
Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable.
_________________________________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy Strong lover. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Loves to love. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
finally got pix from cici, so i added them to the list below. and fran's bday too.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
it's different here...
my new office living space is different... yes, it's only 1 cube down. but the weather is different. the view is certainly different... the perspective is different. i like that the light is brighter, because of my giant windows and because of the light panels that are directly above my new cube. but it's also hotter. a good thing now because the weather is cooling down. but i can imagine hot days up in here. i'll need to bring a fan. i'm directly beside my supervisor now too. convenient as we no longer have to shout across. and when he gets faxes, i can toss them over the cube divider. heheh.
oh and i'm gonna get remote access to the network so that i can work from home. and a laptop. whoohoo! this is a double-edged sword, i know. it's like yay, i can work from HOME! but at the same time, i'll have to WORK at home. ah well. i understand it will be more responsibility. but that will be a good thing.
oooh and our manager totally sung praises for my performance at last week's meeting with the medical director! that was sooo nice! she even mentioned it to the director of our large department (her boss) and he praised me for my good job too! *beaming with pride* :)
oh and i'm gonna get remote access to the network so that i can work from home. and a laptop. whoohoo! this is a double-edged sword, i know. it's like yay, i can work from HOME! but at the same time, i'll have to WORK at home. ah well. i understand it will be more responsibility. but that will be a good thing.
oooh and our manager totally sung praises for my performance at last week's meeting with the medical director! that was sooo nice! she even mentioned it to the director of our large department (her boss) and he praised me for my good job too! *beaming with pride* :)
Monday, September 26, 2005
i fixed the link to mina's white coat ceremony. try it again.
what i've been up to the past month or so:
disneyland with mina and gemmie 2005-08-18. it was one of her gotta-do-before-leaving-california things. my camera died on this day. hence the lack of pictures. and the suckiness of pictures. oh! but we saw hugh heffner!!! i totally tried to take a picture of him, but alas, we were stuck on a ride and we didn't want to be all stalker on him.
mina and danny despedida (going away party) 2005-08-19 (courtesy of kay). the pizookie platters went fast. late birds don't get the worm!
my 27th bday at manna 2005-08-30 (courtesy of anna).
my 27th bday at manna (courtesy of cici).
yummm! i really, really appreciated everyone coming out! and for all the presents too!
mina's unlv dental school white coat ceremony 2005-09-09. also saw their new house being built!
cailey's baptism 2005-09-11. my lil niece. and all my adorable lil cousins.
maitai bar 2005-09-15. hanging out with jill and company. my 21 and over brother and cousins even came out.
healing retreat in santa cruz 2005-09-16-18. it was such a fabulous weekend. i didn't think i needed this anymore, but i apparently had hidden inner child issues. hahah! anyway, it was fabulous, spiritual, and definitely healing. the weather and the ocean view from my big, giant bench on a cliff was a huge part of my spiritual experience, hence the many pictures of the surf, the surfers, and the horizon. i started journaling (like actually hand writing in a journal) this weekend. but i think that's just cuz i had no computer access. or i'd have been blogging. a lot.
a special couple's special day 2005-09-24 (i hesitate to post these for privacy reasons). the experience with them was just wonderful! i feel really privileged to have been such a part of this time in their lives. despite all the not-so-perfect aspects, i had a ball! i love you guys!!!
franny's bday there was a huge snowboarding promotion and the bday girl won 2 snowboarding boots!!! i won a burton beanie and some people won other stuff. it was my first time truly witnessing the loosy fran! fabulous!
drexel elthea's baptism
mina and danny despedida (going away party) 2005-08-19 (courtesy of kay). the pizookie platters went fast. late birds don't get the worm!
my 27th bday at manna 2005-08-30 (courtesy of anna).
my 27th bday at manna (courtesy of cici).
yummm! i really, really appreciated everyone coming out! and for all the presents too!
mina's unlv dental school white coat ceremony 2005-09-09. also saw their new house being built!
cailey's baptism 2005-09-11. my lil niece. and all my adorable lil cousins.
maitai bar 2005-09-15. hanging out with jill and company. my 21 and over brother and cousins even came out.
healing retreat in santa cruz 2005-09-16-18. it was such a fabulous weekend. i didn't think i needed this anymore, but i apparently had hidden inner child issues. hahah! anyway, it was fabulous, spiritual, and definitely healing. the weather and the ocean view from my big, giant bench on a cliff was a huge part of my spiritual experience, hence the many pictures of the surf, the surfers, and the horizon. i started journaling (like actually hand writing in a journal) this weekend. but i think that's just cuz i had no computer access. or i'd have been blogging. a lot.
a special couple's special day 2005-09-24 (i hesitate to post these for privacy reasons). the experience with them was just wonderful! i feel really privileged to have been such a part of this time in their lives. despite all the not-so-perfect aspects, i had a ball! i love you guys!!!
franny's bday there was a huge snowboarding promotion and the bday girl won 2 snowboarding boots!!! i won a burton beanie and some people won other stuff. it was my first time truly witnessing the loosy fran! fabulous!
drexel elthea's baptism
Thursday, September 15, 2005
moving
did i tell you i'm moving up in the world? well, not really. just moving cubicles. but i do get a window now. whoohoo! actually, i'm not so sure i like it cuz it gets hot over there. but scenery will be nice. :) and i can get a fan.
mina and danny got me started using fructis. i love their conditioner! it makes my hair so nice and smooth and light. it doesn't weigh down your hair like other conditioners.
another perk i discovered this morning. i had been trying to place the fruity smell of the conditioner for weeks now and i just realized another reason why i like it so much: it smells like green apple martinis! hahaha!
another perk i discovered this morning. i had been trying to place the fruity smell of the conditioner for weeks now and i just realized another reason why i like it so much: it smells like green apple martinis! hahaha!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
history, atbp.
tagged by dana...
10 years ago: 1995. i had just turned 17. summer before my senior year in high school. was supposed to go to japan for 2 weeks that summer. my boyfriend at that time whined and complained and dissuaded me from going. so i didnt go. i broke up with him soon after that. got a job at joy's hallmark. blessing in disguise. i did everything i possibly could that senior year in high school; editor-in-chief of the yearbook, founded a club, activities director or csf... the experience helped me get into college i think.
5 years ago: 2000. i had just turned 22. just finished a summer of spop (summer student parent orientation program). just broke up with my boyfriend. just started a year of being an ha (house advisor) for arroyo vista-the alpha phi house. met a whole lot of people. that's when he met her too... damn... that summer was hard on us. that whole fall quarter was even worse. it hurts still just thinking about what we put each other through. why did we do that.... so unnecessary. glad we're past it.
1 year ago: 2004. just turned 26. had dinner at banana bay with friends. had dinner at saigon bistro with my family. was working at kaiser already. just had gotten hired for a permanent position that previous july. i had been temping for them for a year and a half before that- before they discovered i had 2 degrees and could do more than file and data entry. i had been doing heaven sent for a year already. my best friend and i were still working on our very rocky friendship. but she got engaged and it was just the jumpstart that we needed. thank goodness!
Yesterday: thinking/planning on starting a business of planning/coordinating weddings. i've worked on 5 so far already. eager for it and nervous at the same time. yesterday, i met with the church coordinator at st. philip benizi for noreen's wedding. i love her. i love that church. it's so simple, but beautiful. worked on more details with her after. while multitasking working with fred on the new confirmation class that he'll be teaching. it was a busy but very productive night. i crashed as soon as i got home.
5 snacks I enjoy:
1 - chips with dip
2 – brownies
3 – chocolate
4 - almond hershey kisses
5 – leftovers
5 songs I know all the words to:
1 – let's wait a while – janet jackson
2 – undercover lover - three plus
3 – the way you look tonight – tony bennett (not the original)
4 – pasko na sinta ko (it's christmas, my love)
5 – banana pancakes - jack johnson
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1 - give 10 percent to the church and probably pay off their debt
2 – pay off debts for myself, my brothers & my parents
3 - buy a house
4 - travel... a lot
5 – invest in property, my unborn children's educations, retirement, future descendants.
5 places I would run away to:
1 - hawaii
2 - burke williams day spa
3 - the beach
4 – lana's apt
5 – mai tai bar
5 things I would never wear:
1 - a thong bathing suit in public
2 – those puffer vests
3 – plaid
4 – gobs and gobs of makeup
5 – my bangs all teased up like the early 90s
5 bad habits:
1 - procrastinating
2 – carelessness about my movements, causing me smack into things and bruise easily.
3 – eating too fast
4 – seeking approval/validation before making decisions
5 – not cleaning my room
5 favorite toys:
1 – new camera. whoohoo!
2 – barbie dolls and all her accessories (that bitch had everything)
3 - palayok (clay little pots that little girls in the philippines can play house and "cook" in)
4 – my brother's portable dvd player
5 - my mini flash drive, it's a lifesaver
5 fictional characters I would date:
i really like dana's choices so i copy some of hers:
1 – jake, from sweet home alabama. i just saw that movie last night. had a craving to watch it so i rented it. i love the feistiness of their relationship. i love how he worked hard to make something of himself but never was boastful, especially to her. and he never stopped loving her.
2 – noah, the guy from the notebook. i think i love the southern guys. also for his everlasting love for his lady. and for his faithfulness and the constant perseverance of his love for her. and i love the passion in their relationship too. i love arguing with my man... and making up...
3 – andrew, the mayor's son in sweet home alabama. i liked how classy he was when she left him at the altar. he was so super gracious about it. i'd so be his rebound any day. plus he's patrick dempsey... cute as heck, ever since can't buy me love. oh! and that gives me #4
4 – ronald, from can't buy me love. he was such a sweet dork. totally cute and cleaned up really nice. and he genuinely liked... what's her name. he just got caught up in being cool.
5 – ferris, from ferris bueller's day off. he's so slick. heheh, and cute too. and lovable. and smart. so smart that he can pull off a day like that.
5 people to tag:
1 – dex (where's your blog?!)
2 - reg
3 - anna
4 - mina (we're gonna have to get you started)
5 - brian
10 years ago: 1995. i had just turned 17. summer before my senior year in high school. was supposed to go to japan for 2 weeks that summer. my boyfriend at that time whined and complained and dissuaded me from going. so i didnt go. i broke up with him soon after that. got a job at joy's hallmark. blessing in disguise. i did everything i possibly could that senior year in high school; editor-in-chief of the yearbook, founded a club, activities director or csf... the experience helped me get into college i think.
5 years ago: 2000. i had just turned 22. just finished a summer of spop (summer student parent orientation program). just broke up with my boyfriend. just started a year of being an ha (house advisor) for arroyo vista-the alpha phi house. met a whole lot of people. that's when he met her too... damn... that summer was hard on us. that whole fall quarter was even worse. it hurts still just thinking about what we put each other through. why did we do that.... so unnecessary. glad we're past it.
1 year ago: 2004. just turned 26. had dinner at banana bay with friends. had dinner at saigon bistro with my family. was working at kaiser already. just had gotten hired for a permanent position that previous july. i had been temping for them for a year and a half before that- before they discovered i had 2 degrees and could do more than file and data entry. i had been doing heaven sent for a year already. my best friend and i were still working on our very rocky friendship. but she got engaged and it was just the jumpstart that we needed. thank goodness!
Yesterday: thinking/planning on starting a business of planning/coordinating weddings. i've worked on 5 so far already. eager for it and nervous at the same time. yesterday, i met with the church coordinator at st. philip benizi for noreen's wedding. i love her. i love that church. it's so simple, but beautiful. worked on more details with her after. while multitasking working with fred on the new confirmation class that he'll be teaching. it was a busy but very productive night. i crashed as soon as i got home.
5 snacks I enjoy:
1 - chips with dip
2 – brownies
3 – chocolate
4 - almond hershey kisses
5 – leftovers
5 songs I know all the words to:
1 – let's wait a while – janet jackson
2 – undercover lover - three plus
3 – the way you look tonight – tony bennett (not the original)
4 – pasko na sinta ko (it's christmas, my love)
5 – banana pancakes - jack johnson
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1 - give 10 percent to the church and probably pay off their debt
2 – pay off debts for myself, my brothers & my parents
3 - buy a house
4 - travel... a lot
5 – invest in property, my unborn children's educations, retirement, future descendants.
5 places I would run away to:
1 - hawaii
2 - burke williams day spa
3 - the beach
4 – lana's apt
5 – mai tai bar
5 things I would never wear:
1 - a thong bathing suit in public
2 – those puffer vests
3 – plaid
4 – gobs and gobs of makeup
5 – my bangs all teased up like the early 90s
5 bad habits:
1 - procrastinating
2 – carelessness about my movements, causing me smack into things and bruise easily.
3 – eating too fast
4 – seeking approval/validation before making decisions
5 – not cleaning my room
5 favorite toys:
1 – new camera. whoohoo!
2 – barbie dolls and all her accessories (that bitch had everything)
3 - palayok (clay little pots that little girls in the philippines can play house and "cook" in)
4 – my brother's portable dvd player
5 - my mini flash drive, it's a lifesaver
5 fictional characters I would date:
i really like dana's choices so i copy some of hers:
1 – jake, from sweet home alabama. i just saw that movie last night. had a craving to watch it so i rented it. i love the feistiness of their relationship. i love how he worked hard to make something of himself but never was boastful, especially to her. and he never stopped loving her.
2 – noah, the guy from the notebook. i think i love the southern guys. also for his everlasting love for his lady. and for his faithfulness and the constant perseverance of his love for her. and i love the passion in their relationship too. i love arguing with my man... and making up...
3 – andrew, the mayor's son in sweet home alabama. i liked how classy he was when she left him at the altar. he was so super gracious about it. i'd so be his rebound any day. plus he's patrick dempsey... cute as heck, ever since can't buy me love. oh! and that gives me #4
4 – ronald, from can't buy me love. he was such a sweet dork. totally cute and cleaned up really nice. and he genuinely liked... what's her name. he just got caught up in being cool.
5 – ferris, from ferris bueller's day off. he's so slick. heheh, and cute too. and lovable. and smart. so smart that he can pull off a day like that.
5 people to tag:
1 – dex (where's your blog?!)
2 - reg
3 - anna
4 - mina (we're gonna have to get you started)
5 - brian
Saturday, September 10, 2005
borrowed from noreen
i like this a lot:
What Will Matter
by Michael Josephson
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, in the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave. What will matter is not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance. It's a matter of choice. Choose to live a life that matters.
What Will Matter
by Michael Josephson
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, in the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave. What will matter is not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance. It's a matter of choice. Choose to live a life that matters.
Friday, September 09, 2005
drunk blogs
well, i'm not that drunk really. i just had some thoughts. i went to a happy birthday celebration tonight for some distant friends/acquaintances. one was a sig fig of a sorority sister and the other was also another sorority sister. i don't know either one of them very well, but i wanted to come out and say my hellos to them and other friends that would probably be there. so i did and had a grand ol' time catching up with new and old friends.
the thing i took note of most is the fact that my sisters... as old, young, distant, or close we may be... we always have a sense of taking care of each other. that's one of the traits that i've always loved about us alpha phis. as far back as i can remember, we have always been young women who stood for excellent values, knew how to have fun, and always, always took care of one another. it's one of the values that we've always cultivated in our community. while some standards and values are not always actively worked on (like scholarship perhaps), this spirit of taking care of each other has always been apparent in my sisterhood. i saw a small, insignificant example of this tonight with the birthday celebrant leaving her purse somewhere, while she wandered around the party aimlessly. she kept mentioning her misplaced purse, somewhat concerned, but ultimately knowing that it's with someone. and it, in fact, was with a sister. this sister, whom i borrowed to chat with at another table with some friends, was so concerned about it that she went back to her original table and brought the purse back with her, making sure that she took care of it. and when the birthday celebrant came around for it, the sister had it in her care and was able to return it to her. i was the big ate (pronounced ah-teh, not "8", meaning big sister/sibling/cousin/friend in tagalog) in the chapter for a while and i know that i tried to cultivate this caring spirit in my girls. i remember one year, someone recognized it when she chose me to write about, when asked to write about someone who influenced them during their new member (pledge) period. and all i really did was make sure that everyone had a ride home that night from a party. she recognized my trait of taking care of my sisters and it drew her closer to the sisterhood. the little things that make a difference, y'know? well, i'm glad that these traits, whether the girls recognize it or not, have been passed down. it's what makes us alpha phi. it's what makes us sisters. it's what makes us friends.
oh, and this trait isn't necessarily reserved just for sorority sisters. it's something that you find in people, in good friends, who truly love and care for each other. people that you can trust to be yourself with, whom you trust to take care of you when you need to be taken care of. that's rare these days, y'know? it was just nice to know that it was automatic with alpha phi. it came with the promises we made to each other. i'm grateful to have been a part of something that is inherently good.
the thing i took note of most is the fact that my sisters... as old, young, distant, or close we may be... we always have a sense of taking care of each other. that's one of the traits that i've always loved about us alpha phis. as far back as i can remember, we have always been young women who stood for excellent values, knew how to have fun, and always, always took care of one another. it's one of the values that we've always cultivated in our community. while some standards and values are not always actively worked on (like scholarship perhaps), this spirit of taking care of each other has always been apparent in my sisterhood. i saw a small, insignificant example of this tonight with the birthday celebrant leaving her purse somewhere, while she wandered around the party aimlessly. she kept mentioning her misplaced purse, somewhat concerned, but ultimately knowing that it's with someone. and it, in fact, was with a sister. this sister, whom i borrowed to chat with at another table with some friends, was so concerned about it that she went back to her original table and brought the purse back with her, making sure that she took care of it. and when the birthday celebrant came around for it, the sister had it in her care and was able to return it to her. i was the big ate (pronounced ah-teh, not "8", meaning big sister/sibling/cousin/friend in tagalog) in the chapter for a while and i know that i tried to cultivate this caring spirit in my girls. i remember one year, someone recognized it when she chose me to write about, when asked to write about someone who influenced them during their new member (pledge) period. and all i really did was make sure that everyone had a ride home that night from a party. she recognized my trait of taking care of my sisters and it drew her closer to the sisterhood. the little things that make a difference, y'know? well, i'm glad that these traits, whether the girls recognize it or not, have been passed down. it's what makes us alpha phi. it's what makes us sisters. it's what makes us friends.
oh, and this trait isn't necessarily reserved just for sorority sisters. it's something that you find in people, in good friends, who truly love and care for each other. people that you can trust to be yourself with, whom you trust to take care of you when you need to be taken care of. that's rare these days, y'know? it was just nice to know that it was automatic with alpha phi. it came with the promises we made to each other. i'm grateful to have been a part of something that is inherently good.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
bitin
i just re-read that last post and it's so bitin. (bitin= cut short, so as to leave the reader hanging) well, it took me all freakin day to write that post. it shows posted at 10am or so, but i actually pushed the button at like 4pm. and i think by that point, i just wanted to be done with the post. i was writing during work and it's just been so busy. for me anyway, because i really wanted to get everything done with so that i could take tomorrow off. it turns out i'm still coming in for random little things that need to get done.
oh, i wanted to explain pikon from a post a long time ago. here is the definition. and an example from my life: when i was 7 years old, my dad was here in the states, while my mom and brother and i were still in the philippines. he sent me a game of monopoly. we had no such game in the philippines and of course, i treasured it. i played almost every night with my yaya (nanny) and knew the game rules well. so we brought the game to a family party and i was trying to teach my uncles how to play, but they were just being silly and weren't really paying attention. well, there are kind of a lot of rules in monopoly; it's not the simplest of games, right? so they really didn't want to listen and just wanted to play. and i was getting quite frustrated and mad with them, getting sooo pikon and inis (irritated) with all of them for not playing the game right and i started crying to my mom, saying, "they're not playing right!!!" that is what pikon is, my friends. hahaha, i was so not fun, so can't just be silly, always gotta be by the rules. goodness... i hope some things have changed.
oh, i wanted to explain pikon from a post a long time ago. here is the definition. and an example from my life: when i was 7 years old, my dad was here in the states, while my mom and brother and i were still in the philippines. he sent me a game of monopoly. we had no such game in the philippines and of course, i treasured it. i played almost every night with my yaya (nanny) and knew the game rules well. so we brought the game to a family party and i was trying to teach my uncles how to play, but they were just being silly and weren't really paying attention. well, there are kind of a lot of rules in monopoly; it's not the simplest of games, right? so they really didn't want to listen and just wanted to play. and i was getting quite frustrated and mad with them, getting sooo pikon and inis (irritated) with all of them for not playing the game right and i started crying to my mom, saying, "they're not playing right!!!" that is what pikon is, my friends. hahaha, i was so not fun, so can't just be silly, always gotta be by the rules. goodness... i hope some things have changed.
pseudo friday
whoohoo! it's pseudo friday for me today. i'm taking tomorrow off to see mina at her white coat ceremony in unlv for dental school. the ceremony is one of those speyshall things that doctors go through to signify the beginning of their training as doctors (doctor of denistry in her case). i'm really excited for this new beginning for her. it's been a series of new beginnings, with the wedding, then the big move to a new state, then the beginning of school. time sure goes by fast. it wasn't too long ago when we were just starting to plan for her wedding. the thought of her moving to vegas was so far off. and now, it's reality. it's brought a new dynamic to our friendship. but i'm sure glad the calls haven't stopped or decreased too much. thank god we're in the same time zone at least. things could certainly be worse. she's still driving distance away. well, i suppose one could drive across the country as well. but i mean, a reasonable less-than-one-day-of-driving distance away.
so after my oil change and random other car things in the morning, i'll be driving over to unlv to hang out and watch her life changes. :)
so after my oil change and random other car things in the morning, i'll be driving over to unlv to hang out and watch her life changes. :)
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
i was reading an account that was emailed to me of the destruction out in the gulf... funny, reading it hit me a lot more than when i simply watch the news on tv or cnn. i can't imagine how it'd be over there. since it happened, my friends who have been to that area tell me that it's really more like a 3rd world country over there. how sad huh? and yea, i think the whole world responded a lot quicker to the tsunami victims than to these poor folk in the south.
we live in quite a sheltered environment. most of us spent labor day hanging out with friends... or at least at our homes, relaxing, maybe cleaning a big. but there are people in such dire need right now. and a lot of people also working to help them out. i hope you and your affluent companies are doing your part. at the very least, be kinder to each other. we all need a bit of that these days as well.
we live in quite a sheltered environment. most of us spent labor day hanging out with friends... or at least at our homes, relaxing, maybe cleaning a big. but there are people in such dire need right now. and a lot of people also working to help them out. i hope you and your affluent companies are doing your part. at the very least, be kinder to each other. we all need a bit of that these days as well.
Friday, September 02, 2005
i'm commenting on b.anne's post here. i just had more to say...
she posted:
Fr. Larry said yesterday at Mass that we are happy only to the extent that we fulfill the will of God in our lives.
I heard that after talking to Melanie and Ofelia in the SPC Religious Ed office. Melanie saw my ring and I shared with her more of "our story". Ofelia then said to me that Fr. Larry once told her about the 4 different types of Christians...
1. The Christian that refuses to carry their cross.
2. The Christian that carries their cross and either brags about it or complains.
3. The Christian that carries their cross and also looks for others to help as well.
4. The Christian that is willing to be nailed to their cross.
i had a great meeting with mary helen (confirmation director at st. paul) last night. god, i'm tired, as we met from 7-11pm, talking about the whole revamping of the confirmation program at st. paul. i was nervous about my proposal, as it's a radical change, but a good one i think. so when she had no opposition to it at all, i started to get really excited! it's gonna be really good for the kids. it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.
when i read the first sentence above from marianne's blog, it was really funny, cuz i just had finished the thought to myself of, "i'm quite happy!" and when i read that, i began to think of why i'm happy. FOCUS is what a previous blogpost was about. i've refocused and concentrated my energy on higher things again. and as reluctant as i was at first, i just dove right into it and look where it got me... happy and excited for things to come! i love how He works in my life.
some thoughts have been really bogging me down the past 2 months... 2 months?! goodness! okay, maybe month and a half... and i swear, there were times when i felt like i was just going insane. but the focus that He brings... it's such a joy and even when things may not work out exactly as we planned...ahem, heaven sent, it's somehow still in His plan. it's nice to be able to trust in that. cuz goodness knows people will let you down. shoot, i let my own self down. a lot.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
OOOHHHHH! i have to say a great big THANK YOU!!! to all of my friends and family who sent birthday wishes and came out to my birthday dinner and even gave me presents! you don't know how much you and your love mean to me. i truly treasure all of you!
she posted:
Fr. Larry said yesterday at Mass that we are happy only to the extent that we fulfill the will of God in our lives.
I heard that after talking to Melanie and Ofelia in the SPC Religious Ed office. Melanie saw my ring and I shared with her more of "our story". Ofelia then said to me that Fr. Larry once told her about the 4 different types of Christians...
1. The Christian that refuses to carry their cross.
2. The Christian that carries their cross and either brags about it or complains.
3. The Christian that carries their cross and also looks for others to help as well.
4. The Christian that is willing to be nailed to their cross.
i had a great meeting with mary helen (confirmation director at st. paul) last night. god, i'm tired, as we met from 7-11pm, talking about the whole revamping of the confirmation program at st. paul. i was nervous about my proposal, as it's a radical change, but a good one i think. so when she had no opposition to it at all, i started to get really excited! it's gonna be really good for the kids. it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.
when i read the first sentence above from marianne's blog, it was really funny, cuz i just had finished the thought to myself of, "i'm quite happy!" and when i read that, i began to think of why i'm happy. FOCUS is what a previous blogpost was about. i've refocused and concentrated my energy on higher things again. and as reluctant as i was at first, i just dove right into it and look where it got me... happy and excited for things to come! i love how He works in my life.
some thoughts have been really bogging me down the past 2 months... 2 months?! goodness! okay, maybe month and a half... and i swear, there were times when i felt like i was just going insane. but the focus that He brings... it's such a joy and even when things may not work out exactly as we planned...ahem, heaven sent, it's somehow still in His plan. it's nice to be able to trust in that. cuz goodness knows people will let you down. shoot, i let my own self down. a lot.
OOOHHHHH! i have to say a great big THANK YOU!!! to all of my friends and family who sent birthday wishes and came out to my birthday dinner and even gave me presents! you don't know how much you and your love mean to me. i truly treasure all of you!
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
