Thursday, September 25, 2003
schedules
i started school again a few weeks ago. i have class on tuesdays & thursdays in pasadena. i help with the confirmation class at my church on mondays. on wednesdays, sometimes i'll have a meeting or volunteering down in irvine. and the weekends, well, it's usually busy too-between the youth group startup and volunteering, on top of family and friends' gatherings. there are a lot of logistics & obligations to take care of with certain goals we set for ourselves and sometimes, the people get lost in the logistics & obligations.
when i was in college, i just wanted to hang out in the middle of the day with my friends. but i never did or could. if i wasn't in class, i'd be in research, or work, or a meeting. i'd have the evenings, but that was filled with meetings, sometimes homework, but mostly activities. the friendships i cultivated were very low-maintenance, not because of choice, but more because of necessity. i think both parties (me & the low-maintenance friends) appreciated our friendship more. the others that required more time and effort just fell off the friendship scale i guess.
okay... what am i trying to say here? see, it used to be that i'd have class in mt. sac and after class, boyfriend and i would meet up and have boba, play chinese checkers, laugh and talk-cuz the school was much closer to his house. that'd be at least once a week. on wednesdays, we'd go to his bible study-also near his house. i'd see him at least twice during the week, as well as on the weekends. now, because the weekends have stuff in it too, there isn't as much of it. and since school started, we don't have weekdays at all cuz my school is way too far from his place. i guess i'm having withdrawals. but i miss him. just the little things that we used to do like play chinese checkers and talk.
i know it isn't as bad as mona and raven's situation, but it just takes some getting used to. changes come and go, schedules change every semester. and i realize now that we'll be okay. sad at the situation, but not unstable. and that's a nice reassurance actually. that even when we don't see each other, we're okay. i used to have the biggest problems when i didn't see the boyfriend before. but somehow now, i'm sad but still comforted that we have each other, even if we have to schedule it in.
when i was in college, i just wanted to hang out in the middle of the day with my friends. but i never did or could. if i wasn't in class, i'd be in research, or work, or a meeting. i'd have the evenings, but that was filled with meetings, sometimes homework, but mostly activities. the friendships i cultivated were very low-maintenance, not because of choice, but more because of necessity. i think both parties (me & the low-maintenance friends) appreciated our friendship more. the others that required more time and effort just fell off the friendship scale i guess.
okay... what am i trying to say here? see, it used to be that i'd have class in mt. sac and after class, boyfriend and i would meet up and have boba, play chinese checkers, laugh and talk-cuz the school was much closer to his house. that'd be at least once a week. on wednesdays, we'd go to his bible study-also near his house. i'd see him at least twice during the week, as well as on the weekends. now, because the weekends have stuff in it too, there isn't as much of it. and since school started, we don't have weekdays at all cuz my school is way too far from his place. i guess i'm having withdrawals. but i miss him. just the little things that we used to do like play chinese checkers and talk.
i know it isn't as bad as mona and raven's situation, but it just takes some getting used to. changes come and go, schedules change every semester. and i realize now that we'll be okay. sad at the situation, but not unstable. and that's a nice reassurance actually. that even when we don't see each other, we're okay. i used to have the biggest problems when i didn't see the boyfriend before. but somehow now, i'm sad but still comforted that we have each other, even if we have to schedule it in.
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quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
