Wednesday, September 17, 2003
things that don't last
so i just found out some of my family gossip. i'm out of the loop at times because we've got family gatherings almost every weekend and i just can't make every single one of them. but i just found out that one of my cousins (she must be like 21 or something) is getting married in january. great thing, right? except, she basically ran away from home when she graduated from high school and despite her incredible scholastic intelligence (she got into uci for goodness' sake!), did not go to any university and has trouble paying the bills now (notice, i highlighted scholastic, because her decision-making skills ain't all that). from what i know, she's living with her marine boyfriend who is like 30 (i may be wrong on the exact age, but he's significantly older than she) who bought her her car and is planning to get married in january. she doesn't have the greatest relationship with her parents and there was an incident with her wedding dress where she thought her mom was going to pay for it because her mom offered to take her dress shopping. turns out that was not the case and now my cousin's upset that she has to pay for the dress and is considering just renting one. and somehow in all this, i feel like i wasn't a good older cousin and didn't develop a relationship with her enough to give her some sort of guidance in all this. her development just went so awry, and i feel so bad for it cuz she had the greatest potential!
i'm the oldest of all my cousins here in the states. i'm not only the Ate(pronounced ah-te, meaning older sister/cousin/friend/relative) of my 2 younger brothers, but all of my cousins as well. on my mom's side there are only 3 older than me and they're all in the philippines. they look up to me and all our aunts and uncles expect me to set a good example for them. me, who do i look up to? i have an aunt who's 7 years older than me. she's like my Ate, eventhough she's really my auntie. and through all my years, she's never been afraid to set me straight when i'm being stupid. she's told me before when i've been selfish and given me advice on my relationships with my family and guys and friends. and i'm grateful to her for that. she told me once that when she saw me mess up, she couldn't help but think that she somehow didn't set a good enough example for me to follow. and now, i can't help but think the same way toward my younger cousins. i know that everyone makes their own choices, and i know my mistakes are entirely mine and could not possibly be blamed on not having a proper example. but if i can help it, i'd really like to save my cousins from making the entirely avoidable stupid mistakes that i made. my guardian angel definitely had to work overtime. i have a great person who imparts her wisdom onto me, and i'd like to share some of mine. hopefully, they'll listen. but it's hard, i remember being a teenager, thinking you knew everything and not believing anything any older person told you. my mom was just telling me that they (teenagers in general) need to just focus on developing themselves and on things that last, because this is the time when their character develops, and not focus on boyfriends and drama and whatever is fleeting. but goodness, she's been telling me that for 11 years now and i just learned that lesson to the fullest meaning last year. and i was 24! thinking about things that last and focusing on developing your character with sound morals and judgment is just not a teenage thing to do. even the advertising and fashion industry know and take advantage of that as they target this audience to promote fads and other things that don't last.
i'm the oldest of all my cousins here in the states. i'm not only the Ate(pronounced ah-te, meaning older sister/cousin/friend/relative) of my 2 younger brothers, but all of my cousins as well. on my mom's side there are only 3 older than me and they're all in the philippines. they look up to me and all our aunts and uncles expect me to set a good example for them. me, who do i look up to? i have an aunt who's 7 years older than me. she's like my Ate, eventhough she's really my auntie. and through all my years, she's never been afraid to set me straight when i'm being stupid. she's told me before when i've been selfish and given me advice on my relationships with my family and guys and friends. and i'm grateful to her for that. she told me once that when she saw me mess up, she couldn't help but think that she somehow didn't set a good enough example for me to follow. and now, i can't help but think the same way toward my younger cousins. i know that everyone makes their own choices, and i know my mistakes are entirely mine and could not possibly be blamed on not having a proper example. but if i can help it, i'd really like to save my cousins from making the entirely avoidable stupid mistakes that i made. my guardian angel definitely had to work overtime. i have a great person who imparts her wisdom onto me, and i'd like to share some of mine. hopefully, they'll listen. but it's hard, i remember being a teenager, thinking you knew everything and not believing anything any older person told you. my mom was just telling me that they (teenagers in general) need to just focus on developing themselves and on things that last, because this is the time when their character develops, and not focus on boyfriends and drama and whatever is fleeting. but goodness, she's been telling me that for 11 years now and i just learned that lesson to the fullest meaning last year. and i was 24! thinking about things that last and focusing on developing your character with sound morals and judgment is just not a teenage thing to do. even the advertising and fashion industry know and take advantage of that as they target this audience to promote fads and other things that don't last.
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quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
