Tuesday, October 07, 2003
out sick
i've been sick these past 2 days. been feeling generally sluggish, achy, and weak. but somehow, i don't think it's because i caught a virus or the flu or anything. i've been feeling really really really bad for what happened with m & i. it was a super huge mess with larger repercussions than i ever thought of. and i guess that's precisely the problem-that i didn't think before acting. in any case, i feel really really bad. equivalent to breaking up with a longtime significant other where you feel like something inside of you just died. i remember feeling like that most of my high school days-just pretty depressed a lot of the time. but of course i had to go to school and continue with my activities. and when r & i broke up after 4 years in college, there'd be days when i felt horrible, but i had to go to class and work and kept busy. but now, i don't think my physical body can take such a large depression of the emotions anymore. so i physically feel like crap. called in sick at work yesterday and this morning. but i made myself come in this afternoon, eventhough i still feel really weak, lightheaded, and achy. oh and my breathing's all out of whack again. (it happens when i'm stressed out.) there was a time when i was driving and my chest totally tightened up and i couldn't breathe, and i was thinking, "oh my god, is this what a heart attack feels like?"
like breakups, healing takes time, and so will this. i just hope i come out of it alive.
like breakups, healing takes time, and so will this. i just hope i come out of it alive.
Comments:
Post a Comment
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
