Tuesday, February 10, 2004
bad boy
i came home last night and my brother was watching tv as usual in my room. he hasn't been getting good grades lately and my dad discovered him watching tv in my room. so he told him to go read a book. the kid left my room and started practicing the drums (he plays in the band and is getting ready to try out for the high school drumline-cool, huh?). anyway, my dad went to his room and started asking him, why aren't you reading? and my idiot brother answers back, mumbling, cuz i don't feel like reading so of course, my dad gets all pissed off, starting to yell, what did you say? and he proceeded to continue yelling, you know, you're really becoming a bad boy! you don't want to read? you don't want to study? you want to grow up and become a bum?! oh god... i love the parenting skills, eh? and i was in my room, hearing all this, trying to decipher what my dad really meant, knowing that between his general lack of communication skills, his temper, and his lack of english vocabulary words, all that my dad can really think of is you're becoming a bad boy! if you're a good boy, you will get reward. if you are bad, you will get punished. there really wasn't any connection between reading a book, instead of watching tv, being studious and working hard, rather than being lazy and useless in society... it was just good or bad. you're a good boy if you study, you're a bad boy if you don't.
*sigh*
i hope my brother was able to figure out what my dad was yelling about. sometimes, just obeying will work and get you through life, but i know he's a good kid, just lazy and careless sometimes. but he's 13. he just wants to play video games all day long. and play drums. and i know he's smart. so i talk to him about things and how he needs to do well in order to succeed in school to try to appeal to his reason. cuz i know if i know why things are that way, i tend to follow better. and hopefully, the lessons stick to him too.
the yelling always made me feel bad, but i don't think it never taught me how to live my life. i think my parents expected that i knew what was right and wrong and how to behave in such a way. when i behaved "badly" (character-wise, not academically), i was yelled at, but there was never any clear instruction on how i was to behave. it only taught me that i'll get in trouble for this if i get caught. but they didn't teach me why it was wrong, why it was immoral. i think it led to my very late development in character. and then i would think of those few times when my dad actually told me why they wouldn't ever let me do anything... i was crying cuz they wouldn't let me go to junior prom and my dad calmly said you know why we're so protective of you? cuz you're so precious to us. there's only one of you, and you are very precious. god, it's making me tear up now. *sigh* they always mean well... just have a funny way of delivering it.
*sigh*
i hope my brother was able to figure out what my dad was yelling about. sometimes, just obeying will work and get you through life, but i know he's a good kid, just lazy and careless sometimes. but he's 13. he just wants to play video games all day long. and play drums. and i know he's smart. so i talk to him about things and how he needs to do well in order to succeed in school to try to appeal to his reason. cuz i know if i know why things are that way, i tend to follow better. and hopefully, the lessons stick to him too.
the yelling always made me feel bad, but i don't think it never taught me how to live my life. i think my parents expected that i knew what was right and wrong and how to behave in such a way. when i behaved "badly" (character-wise, not academically), i was yelled at, but there was never any clear instruction on how i was to behave. it only taught me that i'll get in trouble for this if i get caught. but they didn't teach me why it was wrong, why it was immoral. i think it led to my very late development in character. and then i would think of those few times when my dad actually told me why they wouldn't ever let me do anything... i was crying cuz they wouldn't let me go to junior prom and my dad calmly said you know why we're so protective of you? cuz you're so precious to us. there's only one of you, and you are very precious. god, it's making me tear up now. *sigh* they always mean well... just have a funny way of delivering it.
Comments:
Post a Comment
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
