Friday, March 12, 2004
robot in a desert
i finally saw the Passion last sunday. and i'm finally blogging about it today. i made a mental note to blog about it, but i guess i misplaced the note or something. i just read kevin nadal's reaction and it reminded me to post my reaction... or rather, my non-reaction. i didn't cry as i expected myself to. i felt tears well up in the beginning, but nothing was pushed over the threshold of tears. i didn't feel an overwhelming sense of love or appreciation. you could say i felt numb. and maybe that's a feeling in itself. i was asking my companions that evening if they cried and i noticed that those who sat beside me in the theatre were obviously disturbed. and i expressed that i didn't. of course, the friends line that was quoted was, what? are you a robot?! and i already saw that coming. we had a laugh and discussed other subjects including the movie.
but i dunno. i know at times when i'm in shock (like if someone died), it takes me a lil while to process it and i'll cry about it later. i thought maybe this was the case. maybe it'll just hit me later. but i dunno. i've had smaller experiences of His passion and death that have affected me so much more. the movie seemed too fabricated and...just too much. not that the suffering wasn't accurate and it's not to deny that it happened. but that's just not what i personally focus on. it's the meaning behind it. i think that's one of my gripes with the movie. i know gibson wanted to focus on His suffering specifically, but i would've liked him to show it full circle. He died in a horrible manner, but why? because of love. because of His love for us, despite our sins against Him. and what happened after? He conquered death because He is God.
if you've been following, you know i haven't been all that well lately. but not so much just physically than emotionally, spiritually maybe? something's off... it's like there's a drought in me. like i'm disconnected. people fast for Lent, give something up. i feel like He's taken Himself away from me on purpose. i'm living in a desert. but maybe i'm the one who's put myself there. He calls me to spend time with Him and i don't. couldn't go to mass ash wednesday, and fine, it wasn't a day of obligation. but i've barely made it to daily mass like how i've planned for this Lent. i've been too busy and misprioritized my time. so no wonder i'm in a drought. and i'm starting to wonder if it'll last all 40 days of Lent. that's a freakin long time man. it's only day 16 and i'm parched.
but i dunno. i know at times when i'm in shock (like if someone died), it takes me a lil while to process it and i'll cry about it later. i thought maybe this was the case. maybe it'll just hit me later. but i dunno. i've had smaller experiences of His passion and death that have affected me so much more. the movie seemed too fabricated and...just too much. not that the suffering wasn't accurate and it's not to deny that it happened. but that's just not what i personally focus on. it's the meaning behind it. i think that's one of my gripes with the movie. i know gibson wanted to focus on His suffering specifically, but i would've liked him to show it full circle. He died in a horrible manner, but why? because of love. because of His love for us, despite our sins against Him. and what happened after? He conquered death because He is God.
if you've been following, you know i haven't been all that well lately. but not so much just physically than emotionally, spiritually maybe? something's off... it's like there's a drought in me. like i'm disconnected. people fast for Lent, give something up. i feel like He's taken Himself away from me on purpose. i'm living in a desert. but maybe i'm the one who's put myself there. He calls me to spend time with Him and i don't. couldn't go to mass ash wednesday, and fine, it wasn't a day of obligation. but i've barely made it to daily mass like how i've planned for this Lent. i've been too busy and misprioritized my time. so no wonder i'm in a drought. and i'm starting to wonder if it'll last all 40 days of Lent. that's a freakin long time man. it's only day 16 and i'm parched.
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quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
