Thursday, March 08, 2007
the end of an era
two days ago, henry and i were, of course, discussing wedding logistics and just happened to be ironing out the day of the wedding schedule. we were trying to determine if 8 hours would be sufficient time for our photographer to capture the day's activities or if we have to hire her for a couple more extra hours. so we got to talking about getting ready in the morning, and where would i get ready and i guess i was thinking of getting ready at a hotel. henry was suggesting, you could get ready at your uncle's house (he just bought a really really nice big giant beautiful house), and i was like, no, that's not my house... and then i got to thinking, heyyy, i'm not gonna live here anymore. :( how sad! and just the thought of that sent the tears down my cheeks. and the thoughts kept on going with, who's gonna bug me then? *tear* who's gonna barge into my room without knocking... *tears* no more stupid brothers stealing my shampoo... *more tears* nobody to nag to do their homework... *sniffling* (i'm tearing up now just recalling the moment!) and before i knew it, i was bawling so hard, like someone had really hurt me. and i told henry, i don't wanna leave. i wanna live here with my family! i love my family! (as i blew out my nose) and he goes, it's okay, we can live here in your tiny room. *sniff, sniff* no... i'll live with you. it's just that it's the end of an era! (a la friends) my family doesn't do a lot of constant talks or communication. our bonding time happens in those little moments when my mom comes into my room while i'm getting ready to update me on this or ask about that. and our relationship gets built on those little moments when emmanuel goes, ate, ate, look at this, and he shows me something stupid and funny on the computer in my room. or when christian goes, ate, you know what i did at work today? and he tells some weird story from his job as an assistant funeral director. (as a side note, he totally saw angelina jolie when they buried her mom a few months ago. he said she's really pretty in person.) and my dad... oh me and my dad's relationship is so fragile sometimes. but that gets built over the little moments of us watching sports. yea, me, talk about sports, as if i know something about them. but that's the only real bonding time that he and i get. dude, i was even able to comment on something about the world poker tour the other day. i can barely understand that game.
when i left for work yesterday morning, it just so happened that i ran into my dad in the kitchen and instead of just saying, bye, pa, as i usually do, i said bye, and i hugged him. (dammit, i'm freakin crying at work!) i bet he was weirded out.
i didn't really see my mom last night because she was asleep before i got home, it happens on most nights. but she asked me this morning what's new (which is weird cuz she never asks that). i think she was asking how the wedding planning is going cuz she overheard us the other night. but i told her what happened about me crying and then that got her started, so i was already late for work this morning, but nag-iyakan pa rin kami this morning (we had a little cry-fest this morning) before i left. then my dad came out and asked what happened and my mom told him and he just laughed and joined our hug. so we had a 2-second long 3-person group hug. that doesn't happen in my household. *sigh* oh family, i love them.
when i left for work yesterday morning, it just so happened that i ran into my dad in the kitchen and instead of just saying, bye, pa, as i usually do, i said bye, and i hugged him. (dammit, i'm freakin crying at work!) i bet he was weirded out.
i didn't really see my mom last night because she was asleep before i got home, it happens on most nights. but she asked me this morning what's new (which is weird cuz she never asks that). i think she was asking how the wedding planning is going cuz she overheard us the other night. but i told her what happened about me crying and then that got her started, so i was already late for work this morning, but nag-iyakan pa rin kami this morning (we had a little cry-fest this morning) before i left. then my dad came out and asked what happened and my mom told him and he just laughed and joined our hug. so we had a 2-second long 3-person group hug. that doesn't happen in my household. *sigh* oh family, i love them.
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quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
