footprints in my heart...

i dunno if i ever wrote about cute-boy from work. i must have, because in my head, his nickname is cute-boy. but anyway, he's engaged! i'm so happy for him!

well... not with the stars, just dancing really. tonight, henry and i are starting our ballroom dancing lessons! whoohoo! i'm not sure if it's really for the wedding first dance, but we've thought about taking dance lessons since last summer. just never got around to it. my mom was super excited, she signed herself and my dad up for them too. ever since sunday, she's been asking me, "our classes start on tuesday, right?" and yesterday, she asked me twice in one night. my dad, who kinda has 2 left feet and always makes his partners dizzy, is totally up for it too. it should be a lot of fun, if not funny to watch! and we get to double date with my parents!

before we were officially dating, henry and i went salsa dancing once. i had never really done it before, but he took classes back at uci, so he knew how to lead a bit. the good thing about him is that he picks up really fast. he would watch the more expert couples and try new things. and at the end of the night, we gave each other tips on improvement. my tip for him was to keep his hand up when he wants me to keep turning. his tip for me, was to follow his lead. hahahah! oh and to keep my arm out, so he can catch it. since then, i don't really know if i've improved on my salsa dancing. but i think i've improved on following his lead. he's a good lead anyway. i think i'll keep him. hehe! :)

did i even tell you about my wedding blog? i figured you wouldn't wanna read all about wedding stuff all the time, so i post stuff here every now and again:

dc-loves-hp.blogspot.com

i know there's only like 7 readers nowadays... but you know... if you feel like going over there...

i am freakin bleeding like ... like.. like something that bleeds a lot. no worries, it's the normal that time of the month bleeding, and it's day one and all, but crap, i don't remember bleeding this much! i guess that was the good thing about being on the pill... it sure regulated everything and decreased the actual symptoms. the only good thing about this now is that it means that my body's normal again. i'm not stressing too much and timing is on the dot again. let's hope it keeps at this cycle all the way through the wedding. if it does, i'll be done with it exactly 2 days before the big day. whoohoo!

couldn't pass up sharing this. God has great timing. i really needed to hear this:

Positive, Negative or Neutral? Faith meets science.
".let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to edify him." - Romans 15:2


Situation Explained
Do you have any "negative people" in your life?


Solution Offered
I'm not scientific. I don't know how to do a scientific survey.
I should have paid more attention in high school science class.
None of these truths, however, kept me from doing a survey this past week.

I was beginning to notice how contagious negativity can be and how dangerous negativity is to the Christian walk.

I don't consider myself a negative person. That being said, when people around me grow increasingly negative, it begins to wear me down over time. I lose my perspective. My patience begins to fade along with my smile. Before you know it, I'm in an all out, tug-of-war with satan for my joy. Can you relate?

So for one full week I just listened. I listened to people throughout the course of my day. I listened to people on the radio, in the grocery store, at the airport, around the office, at restaurants, in the doctor's waiting room.pretty much everywhere I went I was taking mental notes. I began tabulating the scores in my head.

Now, I remind you, I'm not scientific, but do you know what I heard?

By the end of each day I calculated that almost 70% of the things I heard come out of peoples' mouths were negative. Only about 20% was positive. The remaining 10% made no sense.I couldn't characterize it either way, some of God's children are just plain weird (myself included probably), so we'll just call it neutral.

I couldn't believe it, but it is the truth. Some comments were just plain rude, others passive aggressive (subtle but just as deadly) and others were just frustrated, emotional responses to life. Some people had nothing nice to say. Others had nothing affirming to offer. Still others could talk about nothing except themselves.

Literally, each day I could count on one hand the number of affirming phrases I had heard, and those usually came at home or at the office. Thank God I have a holy family and that I work for a ministry with people who actually pray!

The whole "survey" pushed me (like many things do) back to Scripture and to today's verse. In this translation of the Romans passage up above, the word we are given to express God's command is to "edify". I like that word. The dictionary definition of edify is "to instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually". Wow, that's boring yet insightful.like most dictionary definitions.

What I usually find far more interesting is the etymology (the study of the origin of a word's meaning) of a word, it usually tells you far more. The word "edify" comes from the Latin, aedificare, which means "to build" or "to strengthen". It's where we get the term, "edifice".

St. Paul wasn't speaking to Romans about constructing a building with stones but about building up "the person, the body of Christ" through words, morally and spiritually.

If I had asked you at the beginning of this email, if you are a positive person or a negative person, you probably would have automatically (without thinking) said, "positive". And hopefully that is true.

If I told you, though, that being positive means more than "not being negative", would that change your response? What if we lived by God's truth and St. Paul's pen, knowing that being "positive" means to be authentically edifying in your speech, on a daily basis?

In my prayer, I have to look at myself. Maybe "not being negative" doesn't necessarily mean I'm positive. Maybe I shouldn't consider myself "positive" if I'm not proactively edifying (building up) the greater Body of Christ. Maybe, just maybe I have some work to do in this area. Wow, maybe I should have paid more attention in science class!

To be really, painfully honest with myself, I'd say that some days I'm positive (proton), some days I'm negative (electron) and some days I'm just oblivious (neutron) and self-absorbed (which can quickly go from neutral to a negative).

How about you?

God has a solution for you.and He gives it through His Word, pray it again (below).


Salvation Given
".let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to edify him." - Romans 15:2



Who says faith and science can't work together? I'd say they compliment one another quite nicely. I wish I could have given some points from my "A" in theology and transferred them to my chemistry grade.

2:35pm Wed, May 23

Awoke to the cock-a-doodle-doo of the rooster. Yes, a real live rooster going off at 6am. And it lives right outside my window. And no, we're not in the provinces. We're in Quezon City, a large city in Metro Manila. I've recovered quite comfortably and quickly from any jet lag I may have had. We went to SM-ShoeMart, otherwise known as the Mall. Looked for barongs for the groosmen and found a design that I liked. I'm excited to look for more wedding materials tomorrow at Divisoria.

We had lunch today at my papa's brother's house- si Tito Obet. Oh my gosh, ang saya-saya (how festive/happy)! I met my cousins and my nieces and nephews, some of whom are my ina-anak (god-children), I just found out. It was so cute how they call me Ninang Tootsie - totally heartwarming to feel so welcome despite the many years we haven't been home. The atmosphere was so fun and loving. Also very simple, with no pretense, not stuck-up at all, like some other families. It was simple, good food. Half of the men had no shirts on cuz it was so hot. It was almost provincial, but soo happy. The one nephew, Tikyo is his name, he asked me, "Bakit ka palaging nag-iingles? (Why are you always speaking english?)" "Eh," I told him, "Kasi taga-america ako (Because I come from America)". The same nephew told me later, "Bakit ganyan ang buhok mo?" (it was up in a loose, messy bun) "Parang kulot na basa pa. Eh mukhang pangit eh." (It's like it's curly and still wet. It looks ugly.) Tawanan kaming lahat! (We all laughed so hard!) Tapos a little later, I found all the little kiddos nakadikit sa 'kin, showing me the makahiya plant, tapos looking through pictures on our camera and asking me kung sino daw doon sa pictures. Napapractice ko talaga yung tagalog ko. Lalo na doon sa mga bata. Ang sarap usapin talaga. At parang proud na proud sila na ako ang ninang nila. Ang sarap ng mga bata dito, talagang full of respect and reverence for their elders. And it totally makes me want to take care of them. I'm gonna give my inaanaks $10 each-i know it will be pretty big for them already.

So we went to visit nanay finally. It is, after all, what we came here for. She's okay, and seems happier that we're here. But she keeps speaking of when we have to leave. And then she gets sad. Tapos, eventhough she's blind, she looks like she's crying. She wants to go home so badly, but she's not strong enough. Oh my gosh, tapos they have to elevate her leg para sa hip niya (she broke her hip kasi). Eh their ghetto-ass style of elevating her foot was to put the thin egg crate padding on her foot, then wrap a rope (a straight up rope, not like a medical bandage or anything). Then they have the rope on a pulley system weighed down by a sand bag. My god, she started complaining na may sugat siya sa paa niya. Wala namang makitang dugo o sugat yung mga nurses, so they left it alone. Per pag tanggal ng padding nung doctor na tita ko, yung paa niya, may guhit guhit na! She's got bruises where the rope was totally constricting her foot! And she was bleeding inside her skin. God what the hell kind of hospital is she in?! It was hard to leave her like that. She told me how it wasn't even her hip that hurt, but it was her foot! Aughh, the stupidity! If anything like that happened here, I swear someone would have been reprimanded or even fired. But to them, that's the best that they could do.

some old journals that i wrote when i was in the philippines...

10am, Tue, May 22
We got here this morning after a 17 hour long flight. We lost a whole day due to the time change and all. We sorted all our pasalubon after breakfast and it just got hotter and hotter and stickier and sticker. But as we were sorting and labeling the gifts for all of our relatives and close friends, my thoughts went to my old life here. i wrote for my Kuya Dodi, "Something Nice". Kasi, when he used to come over, he'd always bring me "something nice" like pop rocks or some other candy. In fact, I grew to expect it. I'd jump up to him and say, "Did you bring me something nice?" And then he'd reveal his treasure for me. Ahh, I had a good childhood.

When we arrived at the airport, one of the most poignant scenes I noticed were of all the relatives crowded outside the glass, awaiting their loved ones' arrival. As they saw them coming down the escalator, they'd wave with such joy and excitement. I actually got choked up as I remembered the opposite scene of when we were leaving the Philippines back in 1988. At that time, akala ko, we were only going to the States for vacation, pero naiyak din ako (but I was brought to tears too). Maybe I had a clue at that time that our departure was not as temporary as I thought. But all my aunts were crying and my yaya (nanny) didn't want to let go of my little brother. I cried cuz I loved her too.

I alwasy get nostalgic when I come home here. I think of my life then... my old school, my old friends, family whom I was close to while growing up. You see, the cousins my age all live here. They were my playmates growing up, but of course, the distance... we grew apart. Now, one just got married, and the other is in Dubai for work. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy and satisfied with my life now. But as we sort all the pasalubong (gifts brought home from a trip) and I think of old friends and family, I kinda wish I could've lived two lives, because i sure was happy here too.

i cracked up at the signs over there. here are a few that i noted down:
vehicles, please stay off the sidewalk.
sidewalks are for people.

Lung Center of the Philippines
A smoke-free hospital

Walang Tawiran (No crossing [the street])
Nakamamatay (You could die)

Male Urinal
The sign wasn't funny in of itself. But this was located in the middle of the sidewalk off a large highway. Like how we have call boxes by the freeway. It used to be that men would just pee on the walls. Now, they have a sheet metal bent into a U shape with a grate on the ground that goes directly to the sewers that they pee in. You can call it an improvement.