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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

yummy yummy for my tummy! 

i just had roscoe's chicken 'n waffles for lunch. it's the one in pasadena, so it wasn't nearly as crowded as i remember the one in hollywood. i never really saw what the big whoop about it is, but oh my goodness, there's something about that combination that's just sooo good! yumm! and i'm stuffed. nappy nap time! yeah, right, i wish!

what'd you have for lunch?

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

My husband said he needed more space,
so I locked him outside.
~ Roseanne Barr

Monday, June 21, 2004

my papa 

"pochinggay-japonesa," is what he called me as a baby cuz i looked japanese (still do)
i pretended i was sleeping as he carried me up to my bed when i was 7
he built my pabitin grid1 and gave me the prizes i wanted when i couldn't reach them
and i loved him for it

he went away to america for three years when i was 6 or 7
he was my santa claus even when i was too old to believe
i defended him to my 3rd grade classmates, saying,
"how can my papa be santa claus? he's all the way in america!"
that was before i knew about balikbayan2 boxes
santa wrote me a note, saying that he couldn't give me everything i wanted because he had to give some to the other children
and i memorized his handwriting, halfway between calligraphy and chicken scratch
and i loved him
when i arrived in the states, i hugged him
but he had become only a figure to me
as i grew, i recognized his handwriting and figured "santa" out
but of course, i still loved him

high school came and i didn't behave like a "filipina"
i tried making the argument that they're raising me in this country now!
and he still got the last word saying (shouting),
"but you're still a filipina!"
i lied, i disrespected, i felt restricted, caged, i wanted to get away
but yes, i still loved him
there were more than a few times when he threatened to kick me out
and i cried even more
when he said that the only reason they're so protective of me
is because i am the most precious thing to them
i'll never forget how precious it was for me to hear those words
*tears*
he loves me

college came and college went
he didn't agree with my decisions, i know
but still, he let me live my life.
i came back home and i hadn't grown up
the threats in high school became a reality and it wasn't at all pretty
but still...

he took me back, saying to my mom,
"ok, if she keeps her room clean and washes everyone else's clothes too, not just hers."
i tell them where i'm going now
cuz i know they worry
and i don't stay out till god knows when anymore
at least not regularly
my room still isn't clean though
but they don't yell...much
we talk about sports
and politics
and decisions in my life
and he says,
"that's good, chay"
but the point is
we talk

i wrote on my father's day card
"You are the best man I know."
because he is.
for all of his values
for all of his honor
for all of his devotion
i love him.

i love you papa! happy father's day! you see, i did grow up finally! and i hope you're proud of me despite my mistakes.

*omg, i have to stop crying, i'm in the middle of work!*

1pabitin = a game with prizes hung on a square grid made of wood. the grid hangs above and kids jump up and down reaching for prizes they desire, while someone pulls on the grid, making it go up and down
2balikbayan = literally means, "return to the homeland/country", these are boxes with goodies that are sent back to the philippines by loved ones in the states.

Friday, June 18, 2004

yummmm 

i'm so starving! thank goodness for l&l hawaiian bbq! ahhh, mini chicken katsu = comfort food. this place calls their katsu, chicken "cutlet". i'm so happy they opened this branch near my work. i never got the mini before, but i didn't wanna be oink oink, so i got it today. i can never finish a full one anyway. goodness, even the mini is pretty darn big. i love the mac salad.

happy friday everyone! hope you have a great weekend! to those who are graduating tomorrow, congratulations!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

hahaha 

i like this quote:

Posted on a church bulletin board:
"Do come in.
- Trespassers will be forgiven."

that was a good one.

trying something new 

aughhh, i should've known to stick with what i know is good.

some people are very afraid to try new things. new food, new restaurants, new places to dry clean, different activities, whatever. i don't have that fear. i'm very open and i like trying new dishes and places. but the danger with it is that sometimes i feel like i waste my time/money/energy. often times, the new thing i'm trying isn't all that great. and i feel like i should've just stuck with what i knew was good to begin with.

i usually get a mango-a-go-go at jamba juice. today, i decided to try something new. i tried the aloha pineapple. i really like mangos though, so i had them replace everything pineapple to mangos. well, it's got strawberries and bananas in it too. i don't mind the bananas, but they took it out by mistake. and now, my drink is very tart because of the overabundance of strawberries. oh goodness, i'll just stick to my mango-a-go-go next time. hmmm, or maybe i'll try the mango mantra. geez, won't i ever learn?!

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

they've got hot girls there by the way. if you guys do a guys night out or even a lunch, go there. good eye candy.

cut, spill, smell 

got my hair cut on a whim yesterday. it's been long and nice, but i was getting bored with it and it was getting really heavy. i was going in for a trim, then i chit-chatted with my hairdresser and told her i was bored with my hair. maybe she could do that side-swept bangs thing? then she mentioned that it would look better if my hair was shorter. it wouldn't look so weighed down. i didn't object, cuz glenn's been saying he liked it shorter like before my hair grew out anyway. so she chopped it. it was almost halfway down my back and now it's just below my shoulders. i didn't think it'd be so short. it looks cute and light though. and i haven't had bangs since my mother tried to cut it and cut the entire front half of my hair forehead length from ear to ear. thank god, deanna's a professional.

we went to lunch today at saladang in pasadena. my co-worker's leaving and it was her farewell luncheon. had yummy food and it was all taken care of by our department (it was free!). we had dessert too: banana ball flambe. there was a lazy susan in the middle of the table and as i was turning it to allow the other people to take their banana ball, a plate was sticking out of the edge and knocked a glass of water over, spilling it. and whose water should it be? the director of our department! oh my goodness, of all the people it could've spilled on, why oh why did it have to be her? i felt so super duper bad, especially cuz i'm being looked at to be hired right now and i was trying so hard to make a good impression. i know she already likes me, but aughhh! i felt like a 5 year old little girl who spilled her drink on her mommy. i hope she doesn't hold it against me.

saladang is thai food. love the stuff, but as with all asian food, the smell just gets stuck to your clothes. i'm back in the office and my favorite red suit totally smells like saladang. guess it's time for dry cleaning!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

nervous 

sometimes, the differences between gl & i make me nervous. i'm usually pretty good at pushing them aside, because we have more in common than we have differences. and our differences, i feel, are minor, compared to what we actually do share. but sometimes it makes me nervous because i'm afraid he won't be as open to what i appreciate. i don't need him to love it as i do. but just to be open to it at least. open enough to try things out.

there are some differences between how he practices his faith and how i practice mine. i try to go to his stuff and am open to how they do things. there's a part of him that he feels has been "burned" by the catholic faith. like it let him down many years ago. and sometimes, those feelings still linger. but i'm glad he's being open to things that i invite him to now.

but part of me is nervous. nervous that he won't get it, nervous that he'll think it's walang kwenta (doesn't count/worthless). especially when it's something so precious to me, i hope that he appreciates it too. but i know i can't ask him for anything more than to love our God. and he does! but how he wants to love Him should be up to him. i just don't want him to think it's invalid. yeah, i guess that's it. i run the risk that he'll put it down and i'll have to defend it again. and i'm just not as knowledgeable to be able to defend it logically. i need to study apologetics. sometimes it's frustrating. but at the same time, i wish i didn't have to defend my catholicism. i never had to question it before in my life, so i never had to seek answers for such questions. now that someone else is shoving those questions in my face, i need to be able to have these answers. there's beauty in blind faith, but some people need to understand the logic and reasoning behind it and i should be able to share such things. *sigh* now, the journey starts.

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sometimes i don't blog for a while, cuz there's just too many things in my head to write down. sometimes, i'm afraid to share what's on my mind and heart too. afraid to be vulnerable, afraid of what people will think, afraid to let people into my life. then there are times, when i ignore the things in my head that i really ought to process. things that i need to think about and i ignore it because i don't want to deal with it. so i don't blog. then, like today, when i just want to share a teeny-tiny bit, i ended up really going through my emotions and assessing why i feel what i'm feeling. in the entry above, i started out just nervous and ended up discovering that this is my challenge. i've been busy organizing, directing heaven sent and guiding and advising for days. i think i've got the service part down. i've been doing it for years, after all. but i know what i'm lacking. and i know what i have to work on now. i need to read more, i need the personal reflection time and put in the energy to know Him, His work, and His church. this will be my struggle and challenge. *sigh* am i up for it? glenn always says that once you surrender your life to Him, it doesn't get easier. in fact, it gets harder. He puts challenges in front of you to overcome and your work for Him gets larger because He'll entrust you with more to do for His people. i haven't felt the difficulty, cuz i've encorporated the service in my life. i've encorporated that kind of sacrifice of time and energy already. i'm used to it. now, He's calling me to serve in another way. just when i'm so tired of school and studying, He's calling me to study Him. You have such an ironic sense of humor, Lord. i think You're up there just laughing at us sometimes. but i know you're laughing cuz you know that it'll be worth it and we'll soon be with You. and that is my comfort. through the stresses and the pressure, You are my comfort. anything for you, my Lord, basta ikaw!

Friday, June 11, 2004

blogaholic 

according to this, i'm only 48% blogaholic. thanx to daydreamy for this fun (and short) quiz!

"48 points is in the 21 through 50 precent
You are a casual weblogger. You only blog when you have nothing better to do, which is not very often. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you'd post a little more often, you'd make your readers very happy."

i will try to post more often my dear readers! have a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

you better obey, or i'll sell your playstation on ebay! 

thanx to raven for this hilarious posting!

Selling Son's Beloved Play Station 2 For Punishment!

be careful kids... don't be stupid!

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and another site that's meant to be funny: cheesyjesus.com

the thing about it is that we actually use some of these things for real and not as a gag joke!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

oh, we're going sept. 1-7. back to work on the 8th.

i gotta go work out now. that's the only downfall. crap.

ALOOOOOOOHA!!! 

i bugged my supervisor again especially after checking the rates and they're going up!

and i double checked with the staff to find out if anyone's planning to vacation during the same week that i am. and they're not.

so i bugged him again... and he told me to ask everyone else for their vacations... and i told him that i already did (yay, proactive me!)... so he said to email everyone my vacation dates and not to bug him about it anymore... so i asked, "is that a yes?"... and he said, "YES!!!!"

we're going to hawaiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

north shore, warm water, the tradewinds, the atmosphere, the people, the food.... whooooohooooo!!!!

what's for breakfast? 

i'm having salad with italian dressing




with lay's potato chips.




what are you having?

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

obsessed 

current obsession: hawaii!!! i'm setting myself up for disappointment if i keep this up. i've spent the last 2 hours searching hotel and car rates while typing up meeting minutes for work. guess which task got more time devoted to it?

i found that pleasant holidays has great packages. but you have to research the place well, cuz of course, the cheapest place is not the best quality. i don't mind staying in somewhat of a dump. i don't expect to be there all day anyway. but i also don't want to hear people complain. i found a room that will accomodate up to 6 people and it's at a great location. the reviews are good and i know it's part of a good family of hotels. there was another one i found that was really cheap, but dude, almost all of the reviews were really bad, with details of the crappiness! i don't mind dumpiness, but i'd like clean and healthy conditions! that hotel's reviews included leaking air-conditioning, cockroaches, and bad paint.

i also found car rentals along with the hotel package. good deals, even if we got a convertible or a mini-van (the van will accomodate more peeps than the convertible of course).

you can call or email me for my recommendation details.

dude... i so wanna goooooo!!! are you guys praying for me?!

itching 

i don't usually drink coffee. but today, they had hawaiian hazelnut flavored coffee. i saw it on another floor and i took a cup from their coffee machine. and i was so happy to find the same flavor when i came back up to my floor. ahhhh! the wonderful taste and scent. well, i know it's just coffee and maybe it wasn't even all that extraordinary. but maybe it's more the idea of the islands.

i'm so itching to go to hawaii! some friends of mine are going to the aloha state this summer and i've been waiting forever and ever (okay, more like 1 week) for my supervisor to approve my vacation request to join them. i even got the biggest lagger on earth (glenn) to get his request approved already. and here i am holding up the trip for us.

i've been all over winnie's archives(see oct 2003) browsing at all the places (food places) she visited. she's so awesome to put exact addresses and detailed posts of what she ate and the atmosphere, even parking situations. her latest post details another restaurant i'd like to experience. and i really, really wanna go to l'uraku. it looks so lovely there with all the decorated umbrellas!

yeah, we could go for the beaches... but the food, yum, the food! hmmm, if i'm gonna eat as much as i plan to, i think i gotta go work out and increase my metabolism... okay, i will, as soon as my supervisor approves my vacation! please pray that he does!

quick update 

one class down, one more to go.

i hate my classes this semester. they were both pains in my butt. i especially hated them cuz they were undergraduate underclassmen classes. basically freshman classes and the teachers treated us like we were straight out of high school and didn't know jack. and these are night classes where if you looked around, most people were already working and knew more than what the teachers gave us credit for. most people had already taken many classes prior to that class, even if they didn't earn a degree yet. they gave us stupid assignments that sometimes had no relevance to the class at all. for example, the class i recently finished was a speech class. in speaking to other speech class students with other instructors, their grade was based upon performance on 3-4 speeches. what were my requirements? 3 speeches, a portfolio that included all kinds of in-class freewrites (remember those from high school?), informal essays, our 1 formal paper, class notes, handouts. our t.a. also had us do these irrelevant critical thinking assignments that had nothing to do with speech. i think it was for her requirements to get paid for being a t.a. and then we find out that the teaching assistant isn't really grading the portfolio and just wants to make sure we kept everything from the class. it's for "our organization," she says. crap, like we can't manage our own materials? like i said, they treated us like we're in high school. then we also found out that these writing assignments do not directly contribute to our final grade, nor do the speeches. you know what our final grade is based upon? we had to write a self-evaluation as to what grade we think we deserve. cool and all cuz i'm giving myself an A. i wrote a 2-page justification as to why i deserved it. she says you get the grade you give yourself if she agrees with you. if she doesn't, you receive a phone call and you have to discuss it with her. what the hell is this bullcrap? have you ever heard of such a thing? my classmate goes, "and this is the final insult to this idiot class."

guess that was a longer update than i initially meant it to be. but anyway, one more final on wednesday. wish me luck!

Friday, June 04, 2004

aww, i feel special 

last week i saw an invitation on my co-worker's cube stating, "Please join us for a celebratory luncheon hononring...YOU!" i was all excited for her and thought she got an award or something. when i saw the same invite in my other coworkers' cubes, i felt all dumb, realizing this was the 2003 recognition luncheon we had been talking about in previous staff meetings. (i know 2003 was 6 months ago!)i remembered putting in my two cents at where and what type of restaurant we should go to, whether to have lunch or dinner. i did not get the invitation, which i did not expect because apparently, it's somewhat of a policy that the temporary workers do not attend such company sponsored affairs. makes sense and it's happened before, so it doesn't really bother me. except that i've been here for almost 2 years (in october), with this department specifically for a year and a half now. and i've been doing a helluva lot more work than what i was initially hired for. especially at year end. it's been really great to grow and learn so much from people that i highly respect and like to work with. so i've really been feeling very much part of the department and this team that i work with. so when this lil invite came around and i realized that this was the luncheon we were talking about at those meetings, yes, i was disappointed. so much so that i even somewhat complained about it to glenn. but i had to shrug it off, cuz what can i do, right?

so, i dunno if it dawned on the director that the secretary didn't give me an invitation, but i found one standing on my keyboard on tuesday! yay! it's not so nice to be left out, but especially when you get the impression that you're part of a team, it's so extra nice to be appreciated! and because i didn't expect it anymore, i feel extra special cuz they really didn't have to include me. but it's really nice to know that they do appreciate my work and presence in our department. so today, we get to leave at 2pm and have a late luncheon at twin palms restaurant. glenn and i have had a nice dinner there and it's very lovely! whoohoo!

happy friday everyone!

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

hahahaha!!! 

the most devout faith-believers have a great sense of humor about their faith. my aunt is a great example with all these crazy emails she sends:

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see
if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big
garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would
that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!"
the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and
kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to
all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me
into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them.

Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"







A five-year-old boy shouted out,

"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

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