Tuesday, June 21, 2005
father's day antics
just wanted to share the crack up of a weekend i had. my family was watching the basketball game with all the other families as we celebrated father's day. the dads were betting on who was gonna win and they asked one of my aunts which one she liked. and she goes, i like horny! i pick horny! and of course, everyone started busting up laughing, teasing her all night long!
i love my family! they're a crackup!
i love my family! they're a crackup!
Saturday, June 18, 2005
i sad today...
ummmm, it comes and it goes... it's up and down, my moods i mean. today, i was sad. i saw him log on and log off this morning on aim, and i got sad. i got to work and i was fine because soooo busy and stressful. my chest still tight. not good, should see doctor for such. but i know it's stress-induced and i really just need to learn how to de-stress. i'ma have a heart attack one day because of this. anyway... so after work, after my thoughts have cleared a bit again, i remembered i was sad. i missed him, you know? it was such a beautiful day and i kept seeing all the disneyland anniversary billboards. if i wasn't doing anything, i know we would've gone to disneyland. i miss how he made me laugh... and his hugs. just sad that's all. i'll be fine i'm sure... just sad today.
had a partial good cry yesterday as mina, gemmie and i went to see sisterhood of the traveling pants. but not quite enough. i held it in and now it's stuck. so a bit more came out today as i was talking to a friend. just was telling him that i'm sad and it just all came out. needed to cry, but still stuck. need another really good cry. need to just heal. sad...
had a partial good cry yesterday as mina, gemmie and i went to see sisterhood of the traveling pants. but not quite enough. i held it in and now it's stuck. so a bit more came out today as i was talking to a friend. just was telling him that i'm sad and it just all came out. needed to cry, but still stuck. need another really good cry. need to just heal. sad...
Thursday, June 16, 2005
did you feel it?
whew! did you feel the earthquake? i still feel like i'm swaying. when we were up in the 7th floor, it felt a lot more like a rolling motion. now that we're on the 3rd floor, it felt a lot rougher, more shaky. yikes. hope you're all okay and not too freaked out!
starving!
took a late lunch today and i am absolutely starving. felt faint, but had work. then i couldn't concentrate anymore and started to become more and more dizzy, so i finally got food.
eating 3 spam musubis (light rice) from l&l's. oh my goodnesssss... spam has never tasted sooooo good!
eating 3 spam musubis (light rice) from l&l's. oh my goodnesssss... spam has never tasted sooooo good!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
i'm gonna miss it!!!!
arghhhh, so i have lots of gripes these days, but one of the more persisting gripe is that i'm gonna miss the next days with the Lord retreat! the women's batch 31 is scheduled for august 12-14, so all you dazers out there, please plan for mina and regina's batch. they've booked divine word, so yay! we like this place and it's not too far, so i'm sure the staffers will all come out.
i'll miss everyone... the camaraderie and the laughter... the singing and most of all, the disco. for those of you who share my joy in this community, you know how special these retreats are, not only for the paxes, but also for the staff. some dazers never return and think that they got all that they needed from their pax weekend, but really, for me, my growth and life began when i staffed. the pax weekend goes by so fast that it's hard to absorb absolutely everything. it's during talks that are assigned to you that you learn more of your self. and it's during activities that you are leading that you learn more about Christ. *sigh*... it's the first one that i've missed... ummmm.... ever?! oh my goodness! AND it's my best friend's rectorship batch too!!! this is ridiculous....
and why am i missing it? i suppose it's also for a good reason... a reason that days has also instilled in me in service to the Lord. i'm going to world youth day 2005 in cologne, germany with my church. we're leaving the monday before the retreat on the 8th. i had been seriously debating attending this pilgrimage where i will be one of 11 chaperones for 35 high school kids. all the events leading up to it has been a thorn in my side. there are many mothers involved in the planning of the fundraisers and gatherings, and many obligations needed to help raise funds to offset the trip costs. everything has been pretty cumbersome and not well organized... and just a pain in the butt. plus it's expensive, and if i were to go to europe, i really wasn't all that interested in germany anyway. and THEN, i have to miss the days retreat?! aughhh!!!
but like mina was reminding me, i felt the same way about hawaii... didn't see what was all the hoopla about it, but fell in love with the place afterward. so i'm sure the trip will be fine. i'm just thinking of all the negative things about it. plus my mom paid my balance and we'd lose $1500 if i cancelled now. i was pretty reluctant to cancel when it was only $500 we'd lose. so yes, i'm going. and it'll be good, i'm sure. but i will miss days. i've been missing it for over a year now. i remember the good ol' days when we used to have retreats every quarter of the year. women's then men's then women's then men's. it was like clockwork and it was beautiful to see everyone work together and continue to build on our friendship. we were a much stronger, tighter group then. (even with all the dramarama) but now, we're so much more disconnected and i'm a bit sad for it. it's different now of course, the demographics and individual purpose... and unfortunately, it's also not the main priority for many of this generation's dazers, hence the few and far in between batches of retreats. i hope this improves through the years. it's really difficult to jumpstart the community. it's hard because it seems like a daunting task for the rector and vice-rector, but really, we're all here to help. all you have to do is ask, cuz despite the distance of time and space, we will jump for you. we all say basta ikaw to you and to Him. so let's get it started again! and keep it going! so that i don't have to wait so long for the next one! *hehehe, internal motive*
i've digressed again... anyway, all of you have fun and enjoy His company at mina and reg's retreat. and please please please come and donate food and vigil with Him and just hang out! the recs need you, the paxes need you, He needs you... live the spirit dazers! and i'll be praying for you from europe. basta kayo!
i'll miss everyone... the camaraderie and the laughter... the singing and most of all, the disco. for those of you who share my joy in this community, you know how special these retreats are, not only for the paxes, but also for the staff. some dazers never return and think that they got all that they needed from their pax weekend, but really, for me, my growth and life began when i staffed. the pax weekend goes by so fast that it's hard to absorb absolutely everything. it's during talks that are assigned to you that you learn more of your self. and it's during activities that you are leading that you learn more about Christ. *sigh*... it's the first one that i've missed... ummmm.... ever?! oh my goodness! AND it's my best friend's rectorship batch too!!! this is ridiculous....
and why am i missing it? i suppose it's also for a good reason... a reason that days has also instilled in me in service to the Lord. i'm going to world youth day 2005 in cologne, germany with my church. we're leaving the monday before the retreat on the 8th. i had been seriously debating attending this pilgrimage where i will be one of 11 chaperones for 35 high school kids. all the events leading up to it has been a thorn in my side. there are many mothers involved in the planning of the fundraisers and gatherings, and many obligations needed to help raise funds to offset the trip costs. everything has been pretty cumbersome and not well organized... and just a pain in the butt. plus it's expensive, and if i were to go to europe, i really wasn't all that interested in germany anyway. and THEN, i have to miss the days retreat?! aughhh!!!
but like mina was reminding me, i felt the same way about hawaii... didn't see what was all the hoopla about it, but fell in love with the place afterward. so i'm sure the trip will be fine. i'm just thinking of all the negative things about it. plus my mom paid my balance and we'd lose $1500 if i cancelled now. i was pretty reluctant to cancel when it was only $500 we'd lose. so yes, i'm going. and it'll be good, i'm sure. but i will miss days. i've been missing it for over a year now. i remember the good ol' days when we used to have retreats every quarter of the year. women's then men's then women's then men's. it was like clockwork and it was beautiful to see everyone work together and continue to build on our friendship. we were a much stronger, tighter group then. (even with all the dramarama) but now, we're so much more disconnected and i'm a bit sad for it. it's different now of course, the demographics and individual purpose... and unfortunately, it's also not the main priority for many of this generation's dazers, hence the few and far in between batches of retreats. i hope this improves through the years. it's really difficult to jumpstart the community. it's hard because it seems like a daunting task for the rector and vice-rector, but really, we're all here to help. all you have to do is ask, cuz despite the distance of time and space, we will jump for you. we all say basta ikaw to you and to Him. so let's get it started again! and keep it going! so that i don't have to wait so long for the next one! *hehehe, internal motive*
i've digressed again... anyway, all of you have fun and enjoy His company at mina and reg's retreat. and please please please come and donate food and vigil with Him and just hang out! the recs need you, the paxes need you, He needs you... live the spirit dazers! and i'll be praying for you from europe. basta kayo!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
arghhhhhh!
i made such a glorious mistake today at work and aughhh, i'm so freakin frustrated at myself. my boss is cool about it, but freakin 2 docs didn't get paid. only one was really my fault for not catching another person's mistake, but i was basically the last check and it got by me. i just simply dropped the ball. i hate it when that happens. no excuse, it was sitting on my desk buried in all my other crap. arghhhh!
sneak preview
i have a few hundred of kay's pictures to upload and organize still, but as a sneak preview, here are camille's pix from mina and danny's wedding. enjoy! more to come hopefuly tomorrow!
Monday, June 13, 2005
psalty
when i was a child, my mom used to put on these cassette tapes of psalty. psalty was this blue book that would sing praise songs... many of the praise songs that we would sing in liwanag, in fact, i remembered as a child. so for some odd reason, i totally have this one song stuck in my head today:
i've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart (where? *shrug shoulders, looking confused*)
down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart
i've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart to stay
refrain:
and i'm so happy, so very happy
i've got the love of Jesus in my hearttttt
and i'm so happy, so very happy
i've got the love of Jesus in my heart!
i've got that love, love, love, love down in my heart (where? *shrug shoulders, looking confused*)
down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart
i've got that love, love, love, love down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart to stay
refrain
hmmm, there might have been another verse, but i don't remember... anyway, it put a smile on my face. oh yea, i went to noon mass today. maybe that had something to do with it. :)
i've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart (where? *shrug shoulders, looking confused*)
down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart
i've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart to stay
refrain:
and i'm so happy, so very happy
i've got the love of Jesus in my hearttttt
and i'm so happy, so very happy
i've got the love of Jesus in my heart!
i've got that love, love, love, love down in my heart (where? *shrug shoulders, looking confused*)
down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart
i've got that love, love, love, love down in my heart (where?)
down in my heart to stay
refrain
hmmm, there might have been another verse, but i don't remember... anyway, it put a smile on my face. oh yea, i went to noon mass today. maybe that had something to do with it. :)
new pictures!
i posted 2 sets of pictures over to the right ---->
most are the pictures from our family trip to vegas last memorial weekend.
and the rest are from sasha's bday cocktail party. nice to see the a-phi sisters again. it's been a while... old friends are gold.
most are the pictures from our family trip to vegas last memorial weekend.
and the rest are from sasha's bday cocktail party. nice to see the a-phi sisters again. it's been a while... old friends are gold.
Friday, June 10, 2005
nerd alert
i've recently finished reading angels and demons and it's the first time i've read a book in a long long time. i just couldn't put it down and i finished it in 3 days over last weekend. the book was soo well-written and i learned so much, as in vocabulary. i mean, i read it with a dictionary beside me, cuz although i could figure out the meaning by the context, i really wanted to know what the word itself means.
this curiosity on new word definitions continued with "rent," as you probably read below.
so on that note, i learned 2 new words today. i actually learned 4, but my mind got really excited over these two (yes, excited, i got excited):
ought: did you know that this was a past particple of owe? as in, you ought to know that=you owe it [to yourself] to know that. weird huh?
denouement: this was just interesting cuz it looks so cool. i love french based words, cuz they look so pretty. anyway, it just means the resolution to a plot, not the climax, but immediately after.
yes, you can call me a nerd.
this curiosity on new word definitions continued with "rent," as you probably read below.
so on that note, i learned 2 new words today. i actually learned 4, but my mind got really excited over these two (yes, excited, i got excited):
ought: did you know that this was a past particple of owe? as in, you ought to know that=you owe it [to yourself] to know that. weird huh?
denouement: this was just interesting cuz it looks so cool. i love french based words, cuz they look so pretty. anyway, it just means the resolution to a plot, not the climax, but immediately after.
yes, you can call me a nerd.
courtesy of anna
growing up, i've always been taught to be the nice, sweet, demure filipina. a la Maria Clara from Noli Me Tangere. this usually detracted from the american lifestyle of questioning authority, standing up for your rights and speaking your mind. as nice and sweet as the maria clara personification is, she's also a very go with the flow, keep your mouth shut kind of girl. it's been hard to balance this filipina persona with the american one that i've grown up with and it's taken quite a few years for me to figure out this balance. it's always been important for me to be the nice one, the one who's liked, and get along with everyone. but through the years, i think i've become comfortable enough in myself to not quite put as much worth in those traits and to know the time and place for them. cuz sometimes, it's okay to be the bitch. and even though that word usually has a negative connotation, i really like how anna has made it a positive one:
BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
it's an "i am woman, hear me roar" kind of moment. :)
BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
it's an "i am woman, hear me roar" kind of moment. :)
flattery
we all need good compliments, especially when computers often give us only error messages, click on this link and it's an instant feel good! perfect timing, thanx normy!
click here and type in your first name
enjoy!
enjoy!
Thursday, June 09, 2005
oooh and it's with taye diggs
taye diggs... oh yeahhh, he's hot. (spoken a la paris hilt0n)
i learned something else today. i read the synopsis and discovered the play on the word "rent": these bohemians grapple with everything from paying the rent on time to being rent apart by love, drugs, AIDS and death, so i'm a nerd and looked up the definition of "rent" and discovered that it is also a past tense and past participle of "rend," meaning:
1. An opening made by rending; a rip.
2. A breach of relations between persons or groups; a rift.
ahh, i soo get it much better now. i always thought it was titled as such only because it was the cause of all the events that the story contained. now, i also realize that unique play on the word and that it also speaks of the relationships among the characters in the story. how ingenious.
i learned something else today. i read the synopsis and discovered the play on the word "rent": these bohemians grapple with everything from paying the rent on time to being rent apart by love, drugs, AIDS and death, so i'm a nerd and looked up the definition of "rent" and discovered that it is also a past tense and past participle of "rend," meaning:
1. An opening made by rending; a rip.
2. A breach of relations between persons or groups; a rift.
ahh, i soo get it much better now. i always thought it was titled as such only because it was the cause of all the events that the story contained. now, i also realize that unique play on the word and that it also speaks of the relationships among the characters in the story. how ingenious.
courtesy of pia
oh my goodness, i'm soooo super excited! one of my most favorite musicals is coming to the big screen! like pia said, 525,600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year? such a poignant question... in daylights? in sunsets? in midnights? in cups of coffee? in pictures? in miles? in laughter? in strife?...
Watch the trailer now!
and for those who've never seen or heard of it, here's a synopsis:
The big-screen adaptation of Jonathan Larson's 1996 Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning musical (which itself was based on Puccini's 'La Boheme'), 'Rent' chronicles a year in the lives of a group of New York City East Villagers. During a 525,600-minute span of their existence, these bohemians grapple with everything from paying the rent on time to being rent apart by love, drugs, AIDS and death. Featuring Rosario Dawson and members of the original theatrical cast -- including Anthony Rapp, Adam Pascal, Taye Diggs and Jesse L. Martin -- 'Rent' shows that even amidst such adversity love and hope can thrive if only we realize that there is no day but today.
the music from this musical is so powerful, and i feel like it's in a very untraditional style with all the rock that's in it. to tell you the truth, i was so confused and bewildered the first time i saw it and it took reading the soundtrack and watching it again to fully appreciate it. i absolutely love it, love it, love it! i can't wait!
and for those who've never seen or heard of it, here's a synopsis:
The big-screen adaptation of Jonathan Larson's 1996 Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning musical (which itself was based on Puccini's 'La Boheme'), 'Rent' chronicles a year in the lives of a group of New York City East Villagers. During a 525,600-minute span of their existence, these bohemians grapple with everything from paying the rent on time to being rent apart by love, drugs, AIDS and death. Featuring Rosario Dawson and members of the original theatrical cast -- including Anthony Rapp, Adam Pascal, Taye Diggs and Jesse L. Martin -- 'Rent' shows that even amidst such adversity love and hope can thrive if only we realize that there is no day but today.
the music from this musical is so powerful, and i feel like it's in a very untraditional style with all the rock that's in it. to tell you the truth, i was so confused and bewildered the first time i saw it and it took reading the soundtrack and watching it again to fully appreciate it. i absolutely love it, love it, love it! i can't wait!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
roller coaster ride
doncha love that song?
it's especially fitting today, well, this week at least, as i feel my moods swing up and down and up and down. if you follow along, i think i end up speaking mostly of the downs, so lemme try to balance it with an up today.
i've loved work lately. maybe it's cuz it's so busy that it can take my mind off things and doesn't allow me to even feel sad. i love feeling productive and as unfortunate as it sounds when the auditors come, i'm loving the running around finding archives to produce what the auditors are demanding. and as stressful as it is, my goodness, i love the running around. i really do thrive on stress, although i also know it will be my demise. i guess i needed a project now that the wedding is finished. and work will be glad that i'm actually doing work nowadays rather than wedding work. hehe.
i think i lost my point again... oh yea, i'm happy today. hahaha!
it's especially fitting today, well, this week at least, as i feel my moods swing up and down and up and down. if you follow along, i think i end up speaking mostly of the downs, so lemme try to balance it with an up today.
i've loved work lately. maybe it's cuz it's so busy that it can take my mind off things and doesn't allow me to even feel sad. i love feeling productive and as unfortunate as it sounds when the auditors come, i'm loving the running around finding archives to produce what the auditors are demanding. and as stressful as it is, my goodness, i love the running around. i really do thrive on stress, although i also know it will be my demise. i guess i needed a project now that the wedding is finished. and work will be glad that i'm actually doing work nowadays rather than wedding work. hehe.
i think i lost my point again... oh yea, i'm happy today. hahaha!
Monday, June 06, 2005
and so it continues...
i cried myself to sleep tonight. well, i suppose not completely to sleep as i'm awake typing this now. i've been feeling quite shitty lately, not surprisingly i suppose. it's part of the whole process, i know. familiar, though always difficult. filled with, yup, spontaneous crying. love that part. the somehow painful, but at the same time healing power of tears, heaving heartache and pouring out the pain in the drops of saline...
i got off the phone with mina quite a while ago. and we got cut off our conversation as my home phone was dying. i told her to call me back on my cell phone but maybe she misunderstood or just got busy. i got caught up anyway watching tv - my source of anesthesia these days. there wasn't even anything on, just old movies... like beaches. i was watching it on the "w" network for goodness' sake, to tell you the mood of my evening. i actually haven't been feeling well, but i have a feeling it's not for physical reasons anymore. most of me just wants to stay in bed and not deal with anything. and this morning in particular, i woke up with an awful pain in my stomach. i've been so stressed out between all the stuff with glenn, worrying about money stuff and decision stuff, idiot people around me stuff, and now car stuff... well, crap, i can almost feel the stress eating up my insides. oh, i know why mentioned mina at the beginning of the paragraph. well, obviously, i thought of her as i was watching beaches. if you didn't know, one of the friends in the movie dies. it's so funny cuz mina and i were just talking about that sometime recently as well. i dunno what her paranoid mind was thinking of, but somehow she was thinking of her dying and asked if i'd be there. "of course i would!" i said. and as the lady in the movie was dying, crap, a tear here, a tear there, then out of nowhere, i was bawling. and i let myself cry, not stopping myself. even encouraging it. i needed to cry, to let out all the stress and emotions. i know it's been building up. i thought maybe i'd have a release at church yesterday, but no. it came with a sappy movie. i should have known. i'm such a sucker for those. i cried for a friendship that's carefully and strongly developing, even with the last 10 (9?) weeks she has left in town before she moves away for school. i cried for a relationship that ended. i cried just to release the stress and be able to breathe again. anyway, as sad as it sounds, i really welcomed it. it was a good healthy cry and i know it's a step toward healing.
and then there's hope...
marianne's always been a source of great hope for me. i remember meeting her a lil while ago, maybe a couple years ago? heheh, i remember her turning 27 and thinking how old that somehow sounds. well, it'll be my turn at the end of the summer and it's not so bad. hehehe. i remember hearing the story of her journey... it had come in a time in my life when i felt like i was just beginning my journey. so i felt like she was about a couple years ahead of me. i like people like that in my life. my aunt's 7 years older than me and i feel like she's a life step or 2 from me. someone who i can look to for advice and see how she lived life. banne's the same way, just a lil closer. there's something similar about the situations we've come across and seeing how happy she is now, i totally smile and look forward to it. she's come so far and still has so much difficulty that she constantly overcomes. but she always handles everything with grace and i'm so happy that she's found a love that's so powerful that i can sense it with every word she writes and every word she speaks. if i'm following in her footsteps, then goodness, i'm excited for the future. thank you Lord.
kay, i'm ready for bed now. g'nite.
i got off the phone with mina quite a while ago. and we got cut off our conversation as my home phone was dying. i told her to call me back on my cell phone but maybe she misunderstood or just got busy. i got caught up anyway watching tv - my source of anesthesia these days. there wasn't even anything on, just old movies... like beaches. i was watching it on the "w" network for goodness' sake, to tell you the mood of my evening. i actually haven't been feeling well, but i have a feeling it's not for physical reasons anymore. most of me just wants to stay in bed and not deal with anything. and this morning in particular, i woke up with an awful pain in my stomach. i've been so stressed out between all the stuff with glenn, worrying about money stuff and decision stuff, idiot people around me stuff, and now car stuff... well, crap, i can almost feel the stress eating up my insides. oh, i know why mentioned mina at the beginning of the paragraph. well, obviously, i thought of her as i was watching beaches. if you didn't know, one of the friends in the movie dies. it's so funny cuz mina and i were just talking about that sometime recently as well. i dunno what her paranoid mind was thinking of, but somehow she was thinking of her dying and asked if i'd be there. "of course i would!" i said. and as the lady in the movie was dying, crap, a tear here, a tear there, then out of nowhere, i was bawling. and i let myself cry, not stopping myself. even encouraging it. i needed to cry, to let out all the stress and emotions. i know it's been building up. i thought maybe i'd have a release at church yesterday, but no. it came with a sappy movie. i should have known. i'm such a sucker for those. i cried for a friendship that's carefully and strongly developing, even with the last 10 (9?) weeks she has left in town before she moves away for school. i cried for a relationship that ended. i cried just to release the stress and be able to breathe again. anyway, as sad as it sounds, i really welcomed it. it was a good healthy cry and i know it's a step toward healing.
and then there's hope...
marianne's always been a source of great hope for me. i remember meeting her a lil while ago, maybe a couple years ago? heheh, i remember her turning 27 and thinking how old that somehow sounds. well, it'll be my turn at the end of the summer and it's not so bad. hehehe. i remember hearing the story of her journey... it had come in a time in my life when i felt like i was just beginning my journey. so i felt like she was about a couple years ahead of me. i like people like that in my life. my aunt's 7 years older than me and i feel like she's a life step or 2 from me. someone who i can look to for advice and see how she lived life. banne's the same way, just a lil closer. there's something similar about the situations we've come across and seeing how happy she is now, i totally smile and look forward to it. she's come so far and still has so much difficulty that she constantly overcomes. but she always handles everything with grace and i'm so happy that she's found a love that's so powerful that i can sense it with every word she writes and every word she speaks. if i'm following in her footsteps, then goodness, i'm excited for the future. thank you Lord.
kay, i'm ready for bed now. g'nite.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
car mess
oh my freakin god!!!!!
so last week while driving up to vegas, my poor lil car started acting really funny. the rpms would just go whacko shooting up erratically. i'd take my foot off the gas and it would go back down so i'd try to accelerate again. sometimes i'd be okay, sometimes not. then i got sorta worried cuz it occurred more frequently, plus the OD Off light would flash. and i got even more worried cuz the CHECK ENGINE SOON light came on and never went away. the "slipping" of the gears happened all throughout the vegas weekend. it's like it wouldn't catch to the next gear. on the way back home, it really didn't happen but once. so i felt better about it and decided i could go to work. i finally took it to the shop(s) on friday and it's at the nissan dealership today. so here's the diagnosis confirmed by 3 different places: internal transmission. greattttt.... nissan dealership says they don't repair anything this bad, they replace it, costing... tun tun tun... $2900!!! holy crap... dude, i might as well get a new car... *throwing tantrum!!* i don't wanna incur another expense gosh darn it!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhh!!!
so last week while driving up to vegas, my poor lil car started acting really funny. the rpms would just go whacko shooting up erratically. i'd take my foot off the gas and it would go back down so i'd try to accelerate again. sometimes i'd be okay, sometimes not. then i got sorta worried cuz it occurred more frequently, plus the OD Off light would flash. and i got even more worried cuz the CHECK ENGINE SOON light came on and never went away. the "slipping" of the gears happened all throughout the vegas weekend. it's like it wouldn't catch to the next gear. on the way back home, it really didn't happen but once. so i felt better about it and decided i could go to work. i finally took it to the shop(s) on friday and it's at the nissan dealership today. so here's the diagnosis confirmed by 3 different places: internal transmission. greattttt.... nissan dealership says they don't repair anything this bad, they replace it, costing... tun tun tun... $2900!!! holy crap... dude, i might as well get a new car... *throwing tantrum!!* i don't wanna incur another expense gosh darn it!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhh!!!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
html nerd talk
i forgot how much i missed learning and practicing html... i don't know much at all. but i like creating something in code and seeing it show up on the webpage... something as simple as colors can be a really long string of code. it's cool, i like it. i really wanna take a class. should've taken ics 1a on college. but i was scared of the work. i think i would've had a lot of fun in it.
i miss doing graphic design stuff too. i'm glad i have photoshop, but i don't really know how to use it well. i only know how to feather pictures but even that was hard to fumble through. i really had to get instruction from caroline on how to do it. it's not something that's easy to play around in.
blogger has gotten very user-friendly these days, allowing people to simply click on a button to upload a picture and/or change formats. i was kinda sad about it though, cuz i liked building up my html skill. i still haven't figured out how to post pictures, although i have been able to at one time or another. see my nemo post from a while ago. i'm also trying to figure out the trackback feature and how to use it more expediently. i found the step by step instructions on www.haloscan.com, but it seems so cumbersome to go through.
anyway, i'm not cheating by using all the super user-friendly blogger shortcuts. plus i really like it anyway when people just post a link to their picture albums so we can see more than just a few.
oh, speaking of pictures, mina and i have been dying to see more wedding pictures!!! i know you all are very picture happy people, so where are the pictures?! please please please! i beg you, please upload your pictures on www.shutterfly.com, share them (send yourself the link) and post the link on your blog so we can see them!!! come onnnnn!!! i'll even walk you through it. it's really easy, i promise! call or email me if you have any trouble!
i miss doing graphic design stuff too. i'm glad i have photoshop, but i don't really know how to use it well. i only know how to feather pictures but even that was hard to fumble through. i really had to get instruction from caroline on how to do it. it's not something that's easy to play around in.
blogger has gotten very user-friendly these days, allowing people to simply click on a button to upload a picture and/or change formats. i was kinda sad about it though, cuz i liked building up my html skill. i still haven't figured out how to post pictures, although i have been able to at one time or another. see my nemo post from a while ago. i'm also trying to figure out the trackback feature and how to use it more expediently. i found the step by step instructions on www.haloscan.com, but it seems so cumbersome to go through.
anyway, i'm not cheating by using all the super user-friendly blogger shortcuts. plus i really like it anyway when people just post a link to their picture albums so we can see more than just a few.
oh, speaking of pictures, mina and i have been dying to see more wedding pictures!!! i know you all are very picture happy people, so where are the pictures?! please please please! i beg you, please upload your pictures on www.shutterfly.com, share them (send yourself the link) and post the link on your blog so we can see them!!! come onnnnn!!! i'll even walk you through it. it's really easy, i promise! call or email me if you have any trouble!
thank goodness for mettings with leftover food.
taking the baton from dana
dana passed this along, so here goes... sorry so late man.
Total volume of music files on computer:
i actually don't have any... after all my files got wiped out from my old computer, i got so discouraged to build my library up again. so i just listen to the hawaiian radio station: kccnfm100.com.
The last cd I bought:
bought? i don't buy cds... crap, i suck at this game... oh! i know, keahiwai "dangerous" cd
Song playing right now:
nothing, i'm at work. i'm really boring.
Five songs I listen to a lot, or really like:
1. rent - the musical soundtrack
2. runaway bride soundtrack
kay, i can't do five. but i did soundtracks so that's more than enough.
Pass the Baton to Five People:
well, like dana said, most have done it... but i'll try
1. caroline
2. francia
3. iyambrian
4. abigail
5. artemus
Total volume of music files on computer:
i actually don't have any... after all my files got wiped out from my old computer, i got so discouraged to build my library up again. so i just listen to the hawaiian radio station: kccnfm100.com.
The last cd I bought:
bought? i don't buy cds... crap, i suck at this game... oh! i know, keahiwai "dangerous" cd
Song playing right now:
nothing, i'm at work. i'm really boring.
Five songs I listen to a lot, or really like:
1. rent - the musical soundtrack
2. runaway bride soundtrack
kay, i can't do five. but i did soundtracks so that's more than enough.
Pass the Baton to Five People:
well, like dana said, most have done it... but i'll try
1. caroline
2. francia
3. iyambrian
4. abigail
5. artemus
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
update
hey, i'm okay guys. thanx so much... all of you. it's nice to know that i do have friends, cuz sometimes i worry that you all come out just cuz i plan fun events for us to do. but thanx for being there for me even when it's not so fun.
take care of glenn too okay? it's painful for us both.
take care of glenn too okay? it's painful for us both.
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
