Friday, January 23, 2004
learning to laugh at myself
so i do have something to write this lovely friday... (oh my, this is a long one! consider yourselves forewarned!)
when i was 7, my dad was here in the states and my mom, my brother and i were still in the philippines (my youngest brother not born yet). my dad sent us (me) a monopoly game set. of course i was waay excited. it was a new, very complicated game. it had all those shiny cool pieces and play money! and it was mine! i write that last sentence because i had been an only child for almost 6 years and i was still adjusting to the whole sharing of my things and attention, even though i knew i was supposed to be a good Ate (big sister in tagalog) and be mature about things like that. anyway, we were over at my grandmother's house and i had already played the game with my yaya (nanny), so i knew how to play the game. my uncles and my mom and i were playing, but no one else knew how to play and i was trying to teach them. well, they just started making up their own rules and fooling around, laughing and having fun. and i was fuming! i had been getting more and more frustrated as they didn't follow the rules. and the complete disregard for my game made me so mad! the tagalog word for it is pikon (dictionary meaning: easily angered by jokes or jests, touchy) talagang napikon ako sa walang respeto na ginawa nila! (i really got angry at the disrespect they displayed!) even now, i can remember so clearly the anger and frustration that i felt back then! and i cried! i cried to my mama saying, they're not playing the game right!!! and they were all laughing at me too! i think that made me more mad, but what came out were more tears!
why did i tell this story? cuz crap, even at 7 years old, i was such a little uptight-follow-the-rules-you-have-to-do-it-this-way little girl. and i couldn't get past the fact that they weren't playing the game "right". i couldn't see that they were just having fun and that was the point of the game, of any game-to have fun. me, i had to play the game right in order to have fun.
so one of my lessons that day was that it wasn't anything to cry about, and of course, my uncles calmed down and just played "right" to make the little kid feel better. but crap, was i a little brat! i don't think i really learned anything more at that moment though. thinking back now, i think my mom should've taken me aside and processed with me a little more about how i don't have to have it my way all the time and that sometimes, you can change the rules of a game or even make it up and that was okay cuz the point is to have fun. but she didn't, and i continued growing up thinking that there were certain ways to do things and there were correct ways to do things and so forth. god, i don't know how the heck i grew up with friends. i don't know that i bossed them around, cuz somewhere along the way, i learned to get along and share and even give. but i think that was all still in the context of acting in a certain way because that's what you're supposed to do-the right way.
so this type of behavior isn't really liked much obviously. so i've tried, honestly tried to not be so control-freaky. mostly cuz it's disliked, made fun of. and dude, nobody likes to be made fun of. so i try to avoid those situations-standing out too much, being weird, whatever to not be made fun of. i remember in high school, i would get so hurt when people would be just messing around and then they say just kidding, but crap, i took it to heart and i would feel so hurt! i would get pikon again, even if i didn't show it. i'd laugh, but not really.
so last week the young adults of our little heaven sent youth ministry were having a long planning meeting and we were trying to choose positions and tasks-sort of like determining the officers of a club-who's gonna do what. it was based on who's good at doing what and likes doing it. one of the tasks were "conducting meetings, making sure there's someone to do whatever is needed"-basically a president-type of position. everyone was all quiet, nobody really wanted that task. i finally spoke up and said, i like doing that stuff. it was like they let out a sigh of relief! we went around giving ourselves funny, unique names in the theme of freaks, like the spritual/educational directors were Jesus-freaks and the treasurer was the money-freak and the activities diirectors were fellowship-freaks. and guess what i was? i was the control-freak. oh my god, we had such a huge laugh over that! and i totally embraced it. in other times of my life, i probably wouldn't have spoken up, for fear that people would think i'm trying to control everything. in other times of my life, i would've been embarassed about my detail-orientedness and my perfectionism (did i make up a new word?) for a long time, i've tried to train myself to just let things go and not take things and myself so seriously at times. this was the first time i really just accepted who i am and loved myself (no not loved myself... who was thinking that?). i felt proud of who i am and just laughed at myself. gl was soo embarassed... he was like, oh my god, my girlfriend's a control freak, and she's so proud of it too! heck yeah, i'm proud of it. for 2 things: (1) i'm learning to love and accept who i am and not hold other people's opinion of me so highly; (2) i'm learning to laugh at myself-at all my little quirks that i used to try to hide or deny.
i was thinking the other day that my teenage years took double the time. i feel like i'm just starting to grow out of that stage where you just want to be accepted by people and that was the most important thing. i'm finally starting to think independently and really choosing who to listen to. i look at my mom and my grandma, observing what they do, knowing that that's exactly what i'll grow up to be. they're neurotic, sometimes bossy, anal-retentive, picky, sometimes acting on some strange logic that really doesn't make any sense. i used to complain to gl about it, now i just tell him, you know i'm gonna be like that right? and then he rolls his eyes, thinking oh god, no!. but you know what? they're absolutely phenomenal women! they're hard-working, loving, accomplished, organized, dependable, well-respected and very much loved! i'm so proud to be their daughter and granddaughter and i would be proud to grow up to be the women that they are!
happy friday! love each other and love yourself!
when i was 7, my dad was here in the states and my mom, my brother and i were still in the philippines (my youngest brother not born yet). my dad sent us (me) a monopoly game set. of course i was waay excited. it was a new, very complicated game. it had all those shiny cool pieces and play money! and it was mine! i write that last sentence because i had been an only child for almost 6 years and i was still adjusting to the whole sharing of my things and attention, even though i knew i was supposed to be a good Ate (big sister in tagalog) and be mature about things like that. anyway, we were over at my grandmother's house and i had already played the game with my yaya (nanny), so i knew how to play the game. my uncles and my mom and i were playing, but no one else knew how to play and i was trying to teach them. well, they just started making up their own rules and fooling around, laughing and having fun. and i was fuming! i had been getting more and more frustrated as they didn't follow the rules. and the complete disregard for my game made me so mad! the tagalog word for it is pikon (dictionary meaning: easily angered by jokes or jests, touchy) talagang napikon ako sa walang respeto na ginawa nila! (i really got angry at the disrespect they displayed!) even now, i can remember so clearly the anger and frustration that i felt back then! and i cried! i cried to my mama saying, they're not playing the game right!!! and they were all laughing at me too! i think that made me more mad, but what came out were more tears!
why did i tell this story? cuz crap, even at 7 years old, i was such a little uptight-follow-the-rules-you-have-to-do-it-this-way little girl. and i couldn't get past the fact that they weren't playing the game "right". i couldn't see that they were just having fun and that was the point of the game, of any game-to have fun. me, i had to play the game right in order to have fun.
so one of my lessons that day was that it wasn't anything to cry about, and of course, my uncles calmed down and just played "right" to make the little kid feel better. but crap, was i a little brat! i don't think i really learned anything more at that moment though. thinking back now, i think my mom should've taken me aside and processed with me a little more about how i don't have to have it my way all the time and that sometimes, you can change the rules of a game or even make it up and that was okay cuz the point is to have fun. but she didn't, and i continued growing up thinking that there were certain ways to do things and there were correct ways to do things and so forth. god, i don't know how the heck i grew up with friends. i don't know that i bossed them around, cuz somewhere along the way, i learned to get along and share and even give. but i think that was all still in the context of acting in a certain way because that's what you're supposed to do-the right way.
so this type of behavior isn't really liked much obviously. so i've tried, honestly tried to not be so control-freaky. mostly cuz it's disliked, made fun of. and dude, nobody likes to be made fun of. so i try to avoid those situations-standing out too much, being weird, whatever to not be made fun of. i remember in high school, i would get so hurt when people would be just messing around and then they say just kidding, but crap, i took it to heart and i would feel so hurt! i would get pikon again, even if i didn't show it. i'd laugh, but not really.
so last week the young adults of our little heaven sent youth ministry were having a long planning meeting and we were trying to choose positions and tasks-sort of like determining the officers of a club-who's gonna do what. it was based on who's good at doing what and likes doing it. one of the tasks were "conducting meetings, making sure there's someone to do whatever is needed"-basically a president-type of position. everyone was all quiet, nobody really wanted that task. i finally spoke up and said, i like doing that stuff. it was like they let out a sigh of relief! we went around giving ourselves funny, unique names in the theme of freaks, like the spritual/educational directors were Jesus-freaks and the treasurer was the money-freak and the activities diirectors were fellowship-freaks. and guess what i was? i was the control-freak. oh my god, we had such a huge laugh over that! and i totally embraced it. in other times of my life, i probably wouldn't have spoken up, for fear that people would think i'm trying to control everything. in other times of my life, i would've been embarassed about my detail-orientedness and my perfectionism (did i make up a new word?) for a long time, i've tried to train myself to just let things go and not take things and myself so seriously at times. this was the first time i really just accepted who i am and loved myself (no not loved myself... who was thinking that?). i felt proud of who i am and just laughed at myself. gl was soo embarassed... he was like, oh my god, my girlfriend's a control freak, and she's so proud of it too! heck yeah, i'm proud of it. for 2 things: (1) i'm learning to love and accept who i am and not hold other people's opinion of me so highly; (2) i'm learning to laugh at myself-at all my little quirks that i used to try to hide or deny.
i was thinking the other day that my teenage years took double the time. i feel like i'm just starting to grow out of that stage where you just want to be accepted by people and that was the most important thing. i'm finally starting to think independently and really choosing who to listen to. i look at my mom and my grandma, observing what they do, knowing that that's exactly what i'll grow up to be. they're neurotic, sometimes bossy, anal-retentive, picky, sometimes acting on some strange logic that really doesn't make any sense. i used to complain to gl about it, now i just tell him, you know i'm gonna be like that right? and then he rolls his eyes, thinking oh god, no!. but you know what? they're absolutely phenomenal women! they're hard-working, loving, accomplished, organized, dependable, well-respected and very much loved! i'm so proud to be their daughter and granddaughter and i would be proud to grow up to be the women that they are!
happy friday! love each other and love yourself!
friday five
for lack of anything to write on this lovely friday, here's this week's friday five:
At this moment, what is your favorite...
1. ...song? my heart belongs to you, sung by jessica and jackie from heaven sent
2. ...food? sushi & dimsum, particularly the fried stuff. i also love chocolate. but then again, as my co-worker commented, what food DON'T i like?
3. ...tv show? the bachelorette & queer eye for the straight guy
4. ...scent? dream angel's divine by victoria's secret
5. ...quote? see the scrolling marquee above!
At this moment, what is your favorite...
1. ...song? my heart belongs to you, sung by jessica and jackie from heaven sent
2. ...food? sushi & dimsum, particularly the fried stuff. i also love chocolate. but then again, as my co-worker commented, what food DON'T i like?
3. ...tv show? the bachelorette & queer eye for the straight guy
4. ...scent? dream angel's divine by victoria's secret
5. ...quote? see the scrolling marquee above!
Thursday, January 22, 2004
oh happy new year!
to all those who celebrate chinese new year!
may you have a healthy and prosperous year of the monkey!
i was born in 1978-year of the horse. my youngest brother was born 12 years later in 1990, so he's a horse too. but my middle brother was born in 1984 - he's year of the rat-the opposite sign to the horse in the chinese zodiac. my mom told me when we figured all that out (hehehe, at a chinese restaurant with the zodiac as the placemats) how that explains why my lil brother and i get along so well, but we can't get along as well with the middle brother.
fabulous happy ordinary day to me!
heheeh, i bought myself a present. i got it from the fabulous www.bellaceti.com. crafty people are so freakin awesome! i've also purchased other items from her little online store and have sorely missed out on some that i waited to purchase. i'm glad i didn't wait for these earrings. they're so cute and dainty and i love pearls! i love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
missing things
old skool toys, old lives past... we miss them yeah? our childhood, teenage years, even just college a few years ago. i know for a long time, i was missing college especially. i just read someone's "missing" list and i was trying to think, hmm, what do i miss? i thought of all the fun stuff and crazy antics i had, and yeah, i smiled as i reminisced for a moment. but i realized, no, i don't miss it anymore. i've come so far now and i don't think i can go back to such a state of mind-hehehe, or rather a lack of a state of mind. it was a time when my only goal was to be happy, but not really having any other goal in my life. at the time it made total sense, but now, crap, there's more than just being simply happy. cuz it was such a selfish time for me, where i did whatever i wanted without any real regard to consequences. i made mistakes, but i'm not really sure i learned very well from them. so there was a lot of repeated mistakes, unfortunately. i didn't know what i wanted, i don't think i had much respect for myself, the people in my life or the life that i had.
thank God life slapped me in the face a bit and i woke up from the dreamworld i was in. while it was just oh-so-much-fun, and i wouldn't trade my experiences for the world, i'm so grateful for how far i've come in such a short time. it's like i just woke up from the delusion i put myself in. and yeah, life's still very unsure and i sure miss being a kid without the worries of being a quarter century years old. but funnily enough, i'm at a point in my life where i'm pretty happy :) and i don't miss the past much at all.
thank God life slapped me in the face a bit and i woke up from the dreamworld i was in. while it was just oh-so-much-fun, and i wouldn't trade my experiences for the world, i'm so grateful for how far i've come in such a short time. it's like i just woke up from the delusion i put myself in. and yeah, life's still very unsure and i sure miss being a kid without the worries of being a quarter century years old. but funnily enough, i'm at a point in my life where i'm pretty happy :) and i don't miss the past much at all.
Monday, January 19, 2004
awww :)
a very good friend of mine is opening himself up again. a soul who was once hurt, who refused to commit to anyone, or any thing for that matter. he wouldn't even commit to an event 2 weeks in advance! someone has captivated him, someone has softened his heart, found a small opening, and he's finally taking down some walls and letting someone in again. i'm so very happy for him! ahh, love stories....
whoohoo!
i'm going to disneyland tonight! we got season passes a couple of weeks ago and we're gonna go see fantasmic tonight!!! i'm sooo excited! i haven't seen it in years! whoohoo!!!
i am 13,342,165 minutes old
old hobbies
i forgot how much i loved to read. i received a borders giftcard for christmas and it was a real blessing as i needed to buy a gre book. well, they have all those bestseller books up at the front and one caught my eye: the five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom, the same author of tuesdays with morrie. i never read tuesdays with morrie, but had heard a lot about how inspiring it was. but the five people looked really interesting. plus the cover has a lovely shade of dark red. :)
i started reading it just last week and i would try to read just a chapter a night. but so many nights i just couldn't stop reading even when i was so tired and falling asleep. i finished it in three nights, staying up until 2am for 2 of those nights. and everytime i went on a bathroom break, i recalled when i was in 6th grade and i'd order books from those little catalogs from school and how much i loved reading. i loved reading stories, real or fiction. i get so engrossed with people's lives and just want to see what happens to them. books have made me cry, made me scared, happy... every sort of emotion. and it's even better than tv because i actually use my imagination. and even when i read such long novels as a tree grows in brooklyn and it was such a pain, i couldn't just forget about it. i really wanted to finish it. i liked having that sense of accomplishment that comes with finishing something you started. it's something i haven't been practicing lately, often starting many tasks without finishing them.
i guess my love for reading has still continued, only it's been reading people's blogs nowadays. it's still stories and thoughts of people's lives and that's what makes it so interesting. especially the fact that they're real people's lives too. but some writers' styles are just really interesting too. i think that's what made the five people so captivating. i definitely recommend it. it doesn't pertain to any specific religion and i think everyone can relate to it in one way or another. i can lend you my copy if you like!
i started reading it just last week and i would try to read just a chapter a night. but so many nights i just couldn't stop reading even when i was so tired and falling asleep. i finished it in three nights, staying up until 2am for 2 of those nights. and everytime i went on a bathroom break, i recalled when i was in 6th grade and i'd order books from those little catalogs from school and how much i loved reading. i loved reading stories, real or fiction. i get so engrossed with people's lives and just want to see what happens to them. books have made me cry, made me scared, happy... every sort of emotion. and it's even better than tv because i actually use my imagination. and even when i read such long novels as a tree grows in brooklyn and it was such a pain, i couldn't just forget about it. i really wanted to finish it. i liked having that sense of accomplishment that comes with finishing something you started. it's something i haven't been practicing lately, often starting many tasks without finishing them.
i guess my love for reading has still continued, only it's been reading people's blogs nowadays. it's still stories and thoughts of people's lives and that's what makes it so interesting. especially the fact that they're real people's lives too. but some writers' styles are just really interesting too. i think that's what made the five people so captivating. i definitely recommend it. it doesn't pertain to any specific religion and i think everyone can relate to it in one way or another. i can lend you my copy if you like!
Friday, January 16, 2004
my favorite day of the year
it's coming up! i'm such a sap for valentine's day! even when i didn't have a boyfriend to celebrate with, i'd have so much fun baking little treats for my friends!
i love reading love stories and how couples first got together. i got totally swept up in mona & raven's love/wedding stories. and even when people just mention tidbits of special times with their significant other, i love reading about them!
part of the fun, of course, is the drama. but other parts include the excitement of first time love. i think that's why i end up reading some people's journals from the very beginning. heck yeah, it takes forever! but when i'm engrossed in it, i can't stop reading it and i just wanna find out more and more about the person and their experiences.
so all this was triggered because i got super excited upon finding a link to how the good doctor scott and his wife met. they're having their second baby very very soon and i'm very excited to see another cute baby. their first is just super adorable!
i have to pace myself though. i found the link but haven't started reading it, cuz i'm at work afterall and i should finish my work first. plus i wanna make it last. like eating a good piece of chocolate, i wanna savor the stories!
if you'd like to share your story, i'd love to hear it!
i love reading love stories and how couples first got together. i got totally swept up in mona & raven's love/wedding stories. and even when people just mention tidbits of special times with their significant other, i love reading about them!
part of the fun, of course, is the drama. but other parts include the excitement of first time love. i think that's why i end up reading some people's journals from the very beginning. heck yeah, it takes forever! but when i'm engrossed in it, i can't stop reading it and i just wanna find out more and more about the person and their experiences.
so all this was triggered because i got super excited upon finding a link to how the good doctor scott and his wife met. they're having their second baby very very soon and i'm very excited to see another cute baby. their first is just super adorable!
i have to pace myself though. i found the link but haven't started reading it, cuz i'm at work afterall and i should finish my work first. plus i wanna make it last. like eating a good piece of chocolate, i wanna savor the stories!
if you'd like to share your story, i'd love to hear it!
prayer request
a friend of the family passed away this morning. deacon art fitzpatrick has been close to our family since we moved to la mirada. he baptized my lil brother who's 13 now. he had a stroke a while ago and recently was hospitalized. but he got to come home last monday and died in peace with his family around him.
i didn't know how much it impacted me. i was worried and made efforts to visit him at the hospital and i'm glad that my brother and i were able to have that last chance to spend time with him. he was a very kind and thoughtful man; very good to my family. we had expected it for awhile and my mom had been anticipating it. it was no surprise, but he will definitely be missed by the very many lives he touched.
my mom asked me to visit him this morning before going to work and at first i didn't want to cuz i didn't feel like he was all that close to me. but when we got to his house and i saw his body, lifeless and spiritless, i just remembered when i last saw him and i was thinking, "this isn't him. there's no Spirit in that body." you know how people say their last "goodbye"? i couldn't even talk to "him" cuz there was no "him" to talk to. it was like an empty turtle shell. there's nothing in it.
my mom and rose (deacon art's daughter) were remembering and talking about how he's affected our family's lives and that's when i started tearing up. my mom was saying how instrumental he was in the development of my brothers and me. that's when i started crying. i should've said thanx to him. at least now he can hear me always. i can just pray to his Spirit in heaven. i'll tell him thanx when i go to mass today.
funny that i thought of that song yesterday. it's very appropriate for today, i think. here it is again:
Sometimes
Sometimes, not often enough,
We reflect upon the good things.
And those thoughts always center around those we love.
And I think of all the people,
Who mean so much to me.
And for so many years have made me, so very happy.
And I count the times I have forgotten to say, "Thank You."
And just how much I love them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
oh, and please say a prayer as well for mark (don't know last name). he's a close friend of gl's sister who passed away very suddenly early this week. he got into a very bad car accident and had bleeding in his brain. he was in a coma for a little while until yesterday when his lungs filled up with blood and he just died. very unexpected for a very young man. pray for the comfort and healing of his family and friends too. mae's taking it really really hard.
i didn't know how much it impacted me. i was worried and made efforts to visit him at the hospital and i'm glad that my brother and i were able to have that last chance to spend time with him. he was a very kind and thoughtful man; very good to my family. we had expected it for awhile and my mom had been anticipating it. it was no surprise, but he will definitely be missed by the very many lives he touched.
my mom asked me to visit him this morning before going to work and at first i didn't want to cuz i didn't feel like he was all that close to me. but when we got to his house and i saw his body, lifeless and spiritless, i just remembered when i last saw him and i was thinking, "this isn't him. there's no Spirit in that body." you know how people say their last "goodbye"? i couldn't even talk to "him" cuz there was no "him" to talk to. it was like an empty turtle shell. there's nothing in it.
my mom and rose (deacon art's daughter) were remembering and talking about how he's affected our family's lives and that's when i started tearing up. my mom was saying how instrumental he was in the development of my brothers and me. that's when i started crying. i should've said thanx to him. at least now he can hear me always. i can just pray to his Spirit in heaven. i'll tell him thanx when i go to mass today.
funny that i thought of that song yesterday. it's very appropriate for today, i think. here it is again:
Sometimes, not often enough,
We reflect upon the good things.
And those thoughts always center around those we love.
And I think of all the people,
Who mean so much to me.
And for so many years have made me, so very happy.
And I count the times I have forgotten to say, "Thank You."
And just how much I love them.
oh, and please say a prayer as well for mark (don't know last name). he's a close friend of gl's sister who passed away very suddenly early this week. he got into a very bad car accident and had bleeding in his brain. he was in a coma for a little while until yesterday when his lungs filled up with blood and he just died. very unexpected for a very young man. pray for the comfort and healing of his family and friends too. mae's taking it really really hard.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Sometimes
Sometimes, not often enough,
We reflect upon the good things.
And those thoughts always center around those we love.
And I think of all the people,
Who mean so much to me.
And for so many years have made me, so very happy.
And I count the times I have forgotten to say, "Thank You."
And just how much I love them.
this is one of my favorite songs from days with the lord. you can find a clip of the song here (sorry, you have to select the song). i miss the retreats and the people. can't wait for the next one! if you want to attend, call/email me, i'll sponsor you. it's an experience you won't forget, a decision you won't regret.
We reflect upon the good things.
And those thoughts always center around those we love.
And I think of all the people,
Who mean so much to me.
And for so many years have made me, so very happy.
And I count the times I have forgotten to say, "Thank You."
And just how much I love them.
this is one of my favorite songs from days with the lord. you can find a clip of the song here (sorry, you have to select the song). i miss the retreats and the people. can't wait for the next one! if you want to attend, call/email me, i'll sponsor you. it's an experience you won't forget, a decision you won't regret.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
whoohoo!
we're going to see chicago the musical at the pantages theatre! with patrick swayze too. he's still hot. hehee!
Friday, January 09, 2004
dang it again!
i used to go to noon weekday mass at st. philip the apostle in pasadena. i found this church when i started working here at kaiser and i found that their priests were really good and eventhough the sermons had to be short, they were very effective. i even had a very good week where i went every single day of the week. that was really cool. but i usually went at least once or twice a week. well, crap, since i've been working with the project manager, we end up eating lunch together too. and it's been eating up my going to mass time. plus, it's just been so super busy cuz of end of the year stuff that we sometimes order lunch in as a whole department and just work straight through. well, it's slowed down a bit, so i was planning to go to mass yesterday. d, the project manager, asked me what we're doing for lunch and i told him i was going to mass. he's always trying to dissuade me so he says, "just go tomorrow." so i figured okay. i like going on fridays anyway. well, today, i got in late, so i didn't get to take a lunch, plus a big ass project landed in my lap, so the more i couldn't get out. when it was hitting 11:55am, i was feeling really crappy about it. and by the time 12:05pm (time when mass starts) rolled around, i was feeling really pissed at myself for not just putting my foot down yesterday and not being on time today. it's been like a month! i miss Him. i need to spend time with Him. gl always gets all pissy if he doesn't get his alone time with Him and heck, so do i. except, his time is bible-reading time, mine is going to visit the blessed sacrament time. so now, i'm in a crappy mood, plus my stupid project's all screwed up (not my fault, but still my problem), and our stupid system's down so i can't even work on it. aughhhh!
i love the youth mass that heaven sent has been putting on. i really do. i love the songs and the kids are so excited about it. it's just that i'm so busy managing the details of it that it's hard to just calm down and enjoy it. i need to quiet down and just pray, dang it.
oh, and shameless plug again:
Heaven Sent's First Youth Mass and AfterEvent
5pm, January 11, 2003
St. Paul of the Cross, La Mirada
it's really upbeat and fun, and i'd love to see you there!
i love the youth mass that heaven sent has been putting on. i really do. i love the songs and the kids are so excited about it. it's just that i'm so busy managing the details of it that it's hard to just calm down and enjoy it. i need to quiet down and just pray, dang it.
oh, and shameless plug again:
Heaven Sent's First Youth Mass and AfterEvent
5pm, January 11, 2003
St. Paul of the Cross, La Mirada
it's really upbeat and fun, and i'd love to see you there!
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
2003 year in review
almost a week into the new year, i'll do like everyone else and see how my 2003 went. (courtesy of francia’s blog)
1. what did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
snowboarding!!!
2. did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t remember making any. this year, it’s to maintain relationships with people i love.
3. did anyone close to you give birth?
my boss, but she’s not that close to me. oh, my cousins in the philippines, but again, they’re not close to me (in distance anyway)
4. did anyone close to you die?
yeah, my aunt-dad’s eldest sister. she was a very sweet lady.
5. what countries did you visit?
none
6. what would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
acceptance to a nursing program (of my choice, but I think that’s pushing it)
7. what date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
february 3, midnightish- when we became “official”
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year?
deciding to get my life together and stop f*ckin around. sometimes making a decision can be your greatest achievement.
helping start Heaven Sent-our lil youth ministry. it’s been a wonderful blessing!
9. what was your biggest failure?
not doing well enough in my classes. i did okay, but I wanted to do great.
10. did you suffer illness or injury?
yeah, heartache.
11. what was the best thing you bought?
shoes, shoes, and more shoes. just call me imelda marcos.
(i don't know what happened to #12 & #13)
14. where did most of your money go?
old debt
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about?
Heaven Sent’s first youth mass
16. what song will always remind you of 2003?
running by no doubt
17. compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? sadder
older or wiser? wiser
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer in money, richer in spirit
18. what do you wish you'd done more of?
studying, reading, having quiet time.
19. what do you wish you'd done less of?
gossiping, spending money
20. how did you spend CHRISTmas?
with my family and extended family
21. did you fall in love in 2003?
yes
22. how many one-night stands?
0
24. what was your favorite tv program?
queer eye for the straight guy
25. do you hate anyone now who you didn't hate this time last year?
no
25. do you like someone now who you didn't like this time last year?
yes
26. what was the best book you read?
my anatomy textbook. i know, i'm a nerd. but learned a lot from that class. otherwise, My Purpose Driven Life
27. what was your greatest musical discovery?
my heart belongs to you, sung by jessica and jackie, Heaven Sent
28. what did you want and get?
A good relationship.
29. what did you want and not get?
to see Rent the musical. so I listen to the cd instead.
30. what was your favorite film of this year?
the last samurai, love actually
31. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
had a surprise dinner at Lucille’s BBQ with friends, played at D&B’s afterward. went to palm springs for a night and had good conversation while in the pool with old friends. lost my car keys, but used the spare. went to glen ivy day spa and relaxed some more. keys were returned later. i turned a quarter century.
32. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
maintained my girlfriendships.
33. wow would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
m-f: business or business casual, boots, pumps or sexy heels. sat-sun: no makeup if I can help it, jeans, baby-tees, cozy sweater, flip-flops.
34. what kept you sane?
prayer.
35. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
angelina jolie, love them lips! as much as i hate to admit it, i'm also drawn to britney spears.
36. what political issue stirred you the most?
the california recall election-cuz it was so dumb!
37. who did you miss?
old friends
38. who was the best new person you met?
marianne, aaron, fr. joe
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
don’t get swept up in other people’s negativity. give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from their perspective. be kind, understanding, and loving in all that you do.
have a great year!
1. what did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
snowboarding!!!
2. did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t remember making any. this year, it’s to maintain relationships with people i love.
3. did anyone close to you give birth?
my boss, but she’s not that close to me. oh, my cousins in the philippines, but again, they’re not close to me (in distance anyway)
4. did anyone close to you die?
yeah, my aunt-dad’s eldest sister. she was a very sweet lady.
5. what countries did you visit?
none
6. what would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
acceptance to a nursing program (of my choice, but I think that’s pushing it)
7. what date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
february 3, midnightish- when we became “official”
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year?
deciding to get my life together and stop f*ckin around. sometimes making a decision can be your greatest achievement.
helping start Heaven Sent-our lil youth ministry. it’s been a wonderful blessing!
9. what was your biggest failure?
not doing well enough in my classes. i did okay, but I wanted to do great.
10. did you suffer illness or injury?
yeah, heartache.
11. what was the best thing you bought?
shoes, shoes, and more shoes. just call me imelda marcos.
(i don't know what happened to #12 & #13)
14. where did most of your money go?
old debt
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about?
Heaven Sent’s first youth mass
16. what song will always remind you of 2003?
running by no doubt
17. compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? sadder
older or wiser? wiser
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer in money, richer in spirit
18. what do you wish you'd done more of?
studying, reading, having quiet time.
19. what do you wish you'd done less of?
gossiping, spending money
20. how did you spend CHRISTmas?
with my family and extended family
21. did you fall in love in 2003?
yes
22. how many one-night stands?
0
24. what was your favorite tv program?
queer eye for the straight guy
25. do you hate anyone now who you didn't hate this time last year?
no
25. do you like someone now who you didn't like this time last year?
yes
26. what was the best book you read?
my anatomy textbook. i know, i'm a nerd. but learned a lot from that class. otherwise, My Purpose Driven Life
27. what was your greatest musical discovery?
my heart belongs to you, sung by jessica and jackie, Heaven Sent
28. what did you want and get?
A good relationship.
29. what did you want and not get?
to see Rent the musical. so I listen to the cd instead.
30. what was your favorite film of this year?
the last samurai, love actually
31. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
had a surprise dinner at Lucille’s BBQ with friends, played at D&B’s afterward. went to palm springs for a night and had good conversation while in the pool with old friends. lost my car keys, but used the spare. went to glen ivy day spa and relaxed some more. keys were returned later. i turned a quarter century.
32. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
maintained my girlfriendships.
33. wow would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
m-f: business or business casual, boots, pumps or sexy heels. sat-sun: no makeup if I can help it, jeans, baby-tees, cozy sweater, flip-flops.
34. what kept you sane?
prayer.
35. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
angelina jolie, love them lips! as much as i hate to admit it, i'm also drawn to britney spears.
36. what political issue stirred you the most?
the california recall election-cuz it was so dumb!
37. who did you miss?
old friends
38. who was the best new person you met?
marianne, aaron, fr. joe
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
don’t get swept up in other people’s negativity. give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from their perspective. be kind, understanding, and loving in all that you do.
have a great year!
yummmm
don't curly fries sound sooo good right now? oooh, with ranch dressing. is it lunchtime yet?
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
