Tuesday, September 30, 2003
kids are hilarious...
check out lil matthew's comment... scroll to sat, sept. 27 entry (11:08 pm)
"i'm gonna destroy the world with this!"
"i'm gonna destroy the world with this!"
happy birthday, pudgeefeet!
happy 23rd birthday to my college best girly-girlfriend! life sure has changed since we got close, and we certainly don't live 2 houses from each other anymore, much less having sleepovers when we're too lazy to walk 2 houses down! but i'm glad we're still in each other's lives.
have a wonderful day and celebrate your life!
have a wonderful day and celebrate your life!
Saturday, September 27, 2003
she passed away today, 10am our time... thanx for everyone's prayers.
Friday, September 26, 2003
tearful day...
i woke up to a text from my cousin in the philippines regarding her mom:
Mom nearing pearly gates of heaven. May leave n 2days or so.
when i got home this morning (i've been staying at m's house to keep her company, remember?), my mom was already up and using the computer in my room. she was sending out an email of their trip itinerary details. i told her what my text said and she told my dad. they soon called the philippines and i heard my mom talking to my tita (aunt) miriam. her voice was all choked up, trying not to sound like she's crying. and she just kept saying "i love you". it got me all teary-eyed as well. when my dad got on the phone, he wasn't all "verklempt" or anything. but he was super malambing (affectionate) as he told her "i love you" many times and he kept telling her to hang on until they get there. (that's rare, by the way. he's not very affectionate at all.) her son who lives here in la is returning there again too. he was just there last week for a week, came back, and will be flying back again. my other aunt in virginia will be flying back too.
all this was happening as i was getting ready for work this morning and i got a chance to speak to her too. she sounded so weak and tired, but still happy to hear from us. i told her "i love you" too. as i returned to my morning routine, i thought about death as a part of life. it's a part of the circle of life, one of those milestones. at certain ages, there are more frequent milestones experienced, like now, people are starting to get engaged and married. in auntie laine's generation (she's 7 years older than me), her friends are having babies. my mom's generation, the women are becoming menopausal, and my grandma's, well, they're starting to get more and more sick and dying. my aunt is my dad's eldest sister,so she's kinda old too. but with the cancer and all, i don't think it's the age thing.
anyway, i was thinking about the milestones of life, and as i listened to them on the phone, i just thought, in the end, all you're left with is 'i love you's. in the end, it's all about the people whom you've loved and who love you. it's about the people whose lives you've touched, even in the smallest way. tita miriam was my ninang (godmother), but all these years, we haven't been in each other's lives in every day or detail. but i know her. and i know her spirit and soul. i know her kids and her family is my family. i have little bits of memories about her, and i know i am only one of her 30some nieces and nephews. but she's touched my life by her example of love and i love her.
got another text later this morning:
Ma breaths thru d mouth na. Bt she is hapi, her hapiest moment she sed. Smiles pa rin. Beautiful pa rin {translated: Ma breathes through the mouth already. But she's happy, her happiest moment she said. Smiles still. Beautiful still.}
(she's really good at abbreviating in texts to accomodate for the small character limit)
there are times in life when you have to say it. it's important to say it, especially in person, verbally. it's important to show it (like flying halfway around to world twice in 2 weeks), but also important to say it, to let it be known. there are times when you say it in a happy time, like weddings and birthdays, to remind the person, even if it's just taken for granted. then, there are times, when it's sad, and it's so super comforting to know that you are loved by the people whom you love. i'm glad tita miriam will be surrounded by all the people who love her. she's an amazing woman and has touched so many people's lives. we're all grateful to her for one thing or another. i'm glad she's happy and she knows she's very much loved. some people aren't as blessed as she.
please say a prayer that she will be strong enough to see all the people who are returning back to the philippines to see her. pray that they make it in time to see her. my dad's funny... we are told: pray like you've already received what you're praying for. believe that you will receive it. no doubt, just faith in the Lord. my dad... he was just sitting there as i left this morning sitting in the chair a sort of somber daze staring out into space, and he says, "yeah, she'll make it. she'll still be there when we arrive."
in the end, there are three things that last... faith, hope and love. and the greatest of these is love.
Mom nearing pearly gates of heaven. May leave n 2days or so.
when i got home this morning (i've been staying at m's house to keep her company, remember?), my mom was already up and using the computer in my room. she was sending out an email of their trip itinerary details. i told her what my text said and she told my dad. they soon called the philippines and i heard my mom talking to my tita (aunt) miriam. her voice was all choked up, trying not to sound like she's crying. and she just kept saying "i love you". it got me all teary-eyed as well. when my dad got on the phone, he wasn't all "verklempt" or anything. but he was super malambing (affectionate) as he told her "i love you" many times and he kept telling her to hang on until they get there. (that's rare, by the way. he's not very affectionate at all.) her son who lives here in la is returning there again too. he was just there last week for a week, came back, and will be flying back again. my other aunt in virginia will be flying back too.
all this was happening as i was getting ready for work this morning and i got a chance to speak to her too. she sounded so weak and tired, but still happy to hear from us. i told her "i love you" too. as i returned to my morning routine, i thought about death as a part of life. it's a part of the circle of life, one of those milestones. at certain ages, there are more frequent milestones experienced, like now, people are starting to get engaged and married. in auntie laine's generation (she's 7 years older than me), her friends are having babies. my mom's generation, the women are becoming menopausal, and my grandma's, well, they're starting to get more and more sick and dying. my aunt is my dad's eldest sister,so she's kinda old too. but with the cancer and all, i don't think it's the age thing.
anyway, i was thinking about the milestones of life, and as i listened to them on the phone, i just thought, in the end, all you're left with is 'i love you's. in the end, it's all about the people whom you've loved and who love you. it's about the people whose lives you've touched, even in the smallest way. tita miriam was my ninang (godmother), but all these years, we haven't been in each other's lives in every day or detail. but i know her. and i know her spirit and soul. i know her kids and her family is my family. i have little bits of memories about her, and i know i am only one of her 30some nieces and nephews. but she's touched my life by her example of love and i love her.
got another text later this morning:
Ma breaths thru d mouth na. Bt she is hapi, her hapiest moment she sed. Smiles pa rin. Beautiful pa rin {translated: Ma breathes through the mouth already. But she's happy, her happiest moment she said. Smiles still. Beautiful still.}
(she's really good at abbreviating in texts to accomodate for the small character limit)
there are times in life when you have to say it. it's important to say it, especially in person, verbally. it's important to show it (like flying halfway around to world twice in 2 weeks), but also important to say it, to let it be known. there are times when you say it in a happy time, like weddings and birthdays, to remind the person, even if it's just taken for granted. then, there are times, when it's sad, and it's so super comforting to know that you are loved by the people whom you love. i'm glad tita miriam will be surrounded by all the people who love her. she's an amazing woman and has touched so many people's lives. we're all grateful to her for one thing or another. i'm glad she's happy and she knows she's very much loved. some people aren't as blessed as she.
please say a prayer that she will be strong enough to see all the people who are returning back to the philippines to see her. pray that they make it in time to see her. my dad's funny... we are told: pray like you've already received what you're praying for. believe that you will receive it. no doubt, just faith in the Lord. my dad... he was just sitting there as i left this morning sitting in the chair a sort of somber daze staring out into space, and he says, "yeah, she'll make it. she'll still be there when we arrive."
in the end, there are three things that last... faith, hope and love. and the greatest of these is love.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
out of town parentals
you know in how in high school, how parents would leave for vacation and the kids would party? wish that were the case with this one. my parents are going back to the philippines to visit my aunt-the one who's probably dying. still praying for her and our family though.
so my lil brother and i will be home alone...hmmm, i doubt if my mom's gonna ask my aunt to stay with us. sheesh!
so my lil brother and i will be home alone...hmmm, i doubt if my mom's gonna ask my aunt to stay with us. sheesh!
schedules
i started school again a few weeks ago. i have class on tuesdays & thursdays in pasadena. i help with the confirmation class at my church on mondays. on wednesdays, sometimes i'll have a meeting or volunteering down in irvine. and the weekends, well, it's usually busy too-between the youth group startup and volunteering, on top of family and friends' gatherings. there are a lot of logistics & obligations to take care of with certain goals we set for ourselves and sometimes, the people get lost in the logistics & obligations.
when i was in college, i just wanted to hang out in the middle of the day with my friends. but i never did or could. if i wasn't in class, i'd be in research, or work, or a meeting. i'd have the evenings, but that was filled with meetings, sometimes homework, but mostly activities. the friendships i cultivated were very low-maintenance, not because of choice, but more because of necessity. i think both parties (me & the low-maintenance friends) appreciated our friendship more. the others that required more time and effort just fell off the friendship scale i guess.
okay... what am i trying to say here? see, it used to be that i'd have class in mt. sac and after class, boyfriend and i would meet up and have boba, play chinese checkers, laugh and talk-cuz the school was much closer to his house. that'd be at least once a week. on wednesdays, we'd go to his bible study-also near his house. i'd see him at least twice during the week, as well as on the weekends. now, because the weekends have stuff in it too, there isn't as much of it. and since school started, we don't have weekdays at all cuz my school is way too far from his place. i guess i'm having withdrawals. but i miss him. just the little things that we used to do like play chinese checkers and talk.
i know it isn't as bad as mona and raven's situation, but it just takes some getting used to. changes come and go, schedules change every semester. and i realize now that we'll be okay. sad at the situation, but not unstable. and that's a nice reassurance actually. that even when we don't see each other, we're okay. i used to have the biggest problems when i didn't see the boyfriend before. but somehow now, i'm sad but still comforted that we have each other, even if we have to schedule it in.
when i was in college, i just wanted to hang out in the middle of the day with my friends. but i never did or could. if i wasn't in class, i'd be in research, or work, or a meeting. i'd have the evenings, but that was filled with meetings, sometimes homework, but mostly activities. the friendships i cultivated were very low-maintenance, not because of choice, but more because of necessity. i think both parties (me & the low-maintenance friends) appreciated our friendship more. the others that required more time and effort just fell off the friendship scale i guess.
okay... what am i trying to say here? see, it used to be that i'd have class in mt. sac and after class, boyfriend and i would meet up and have boba, play chinese checkers, laugh and talk-cuz the school was much closer to his house. that'd be at least once a week. on wednesdays, we'd go to his bible study-also near his house. i'd see him at least twice during the week, as well as on the weekends. now, because the weekends have stuff in it too, there isn't as much of it. and since school started, we don't have weekdays at all cuz my school is way too far from his place. i guess i'm having withdrawals. but i miss him. just the little things that we used to do like play chinese checkers and talk.
i know it isn't as bad as mona and raven's situation, but it just takes some getting used to. changes come and go, schedules change every semester. and i realize now that we'll be okay. sad at the situation, but not unstable. and that's a nice reassurance actually. that even when we don't see each other, we're okay. i used to have the biggest problems when i didn't see the boyfriend before. but somehow now, i'm sad but still comforted that we have each other, even if we have to schedule it in.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
www.salary.com
i am aiming to become a nurse anesthesist. this profession requires an RN (registered nurse) degree and at least one year's experience in critical care. i just looked up the salary for such a profession in orange county, california and they make almost as much as a doctor! hey, i could live with that.
check out your profession's salary ranges here
check out your profession's salary ranges here
scramble
i was quite irresponsible about this. i've been researching nursing programs and the deadlines to apply all year long when it was waaay too early to apply. i finally got into my last prerequisite class in order for me to be eligible to apply this fall. and here it is. i can finally apply, it's finally time to apply, and what do i do? i forget all about applying!!! so i'm scrambling around, getting transcripts sent out to these schools, sending out applications left and right. i hope i haven't forgotten anything.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
ba-boom boom-boom
ba-boom, ba-boom
hope you liked us cuz we liked you too
ba-boom, ba-boom
up till now it's been a lot of fun
alpha phi alpha phi
you're the only one
and we just want you to hear it
our alpha phi spirit
so let our voices ring
ohhhhhh
alpha phi, i say now
alpha phi is the
only sorority
it's alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha
goodbye from alpha phi
ba-boom, ba-boom!
'tis the season!
when you see lights twinkle, and there's excitement in the air.
when there are smiles abound and songs are sung joyfully and heartily.
when the drinks are pretty and the girls are "soooo cute!"
when the houses are decorated, but only within the panhellenic rules.
when all the girls are wearing the same thing and everyone's wearing nametags.
when you drink only when they drink, whether you're thirsty or not.
and if they don't drink and you're parched, you stay parched.
when you give a girl something to hold, but make darn sure
that she never leaves the house with anything you've given her.
and when your crushes join your house
though you're exhausted like you've never been,
but you've bonded with your sisters
and can finally go to frat parties!
.... ahhh, those are the joys of rush!
good luck on recruitment this year eta kappa! you'll always be in my heart. love & aoe, dorothy
anyone know what's going on with my sidebar template over there-----> the font size got alll teeeenie tineeeey.
Monday, September 22, 2003
The Summons
If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know
And never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown
Will you let my name be known
Will you let my life be grown
In you and you in me?
Will you leave yourself behind
If I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind
And never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare
Should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer pray'r
In you and you in me?
Will you let the blinded see
If I but call your name?
Will you set the pris'ners free
And never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean,
And do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean
In you and you in me?
Will you love the "you" you hide
If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside
And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found
To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound
In you and you in me?
Lord, your summons echoes true
When you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you
And never be the same.
In your company I'll go
Where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow
In you and you in me.
~ KelvinGrove
homily
went to mass last friday here at st. philip's in pasadena. there are a number of excellent priests at that church, my favorite being father franklin- a visiting priest from india. he's very intellectual and we've had several good conversations. his homilies are always very insightful, not cryptic or confusing. it's very down-to-earth, and always easily applicable to our lives. i hate it when the homily is so vague and you don't know what it has to do with you.
anyway, i really liked the message he gave that day. he was talking about money and how the love of money is the root of all evil. he stressed that we all need money, even the church, the priests, everyone needs money. money is not evil all in itself, but is a blessing and providence from God. He provides it for us, so that we may use it to show love. fr. franklin emphasized that money is a means to show love, and that is how we should use it-to provide for our basic needs, but much more to spread love to others. not necessarily for accumulation of stuff.
fr. franklin also spoke about self-reliance. since we were young, we strived to be self-reliant. we learn how to walk, go to school without our parents, go to college, get jobs, all in order to be self-reliant. and we grow up to be independent, responsible, and able to fend for ourselves. we are able to rely on ourselves to care for ourselves. and money allows us this reliance. when we were children, we'd ask our parents for money as we relied on them for this and other basic needs. now as adults, we rely on ourselves and our jobs to provide us with our basic needs. what fr. franklin said was really poignant, in that we need to learn not to be self-reliant, but God-reliant. i really liked that line, because it's the epitomy of "basta ikaw, Lord!" to live not for yourself, but for God. to offer everything to Him and to trust that all will be well and good. not to depend on yourself, who is a measly human who makes mistakes and is simply unreliable, but to depend on He who knows everything and is perfect in every way. it's just such a better way to live i think.
i know this stirs up conversation somewhere with some people, so please feel free to comment.
anyway, i really liked the message he gave that day. he was talking about money and how the love of money is the root of all evil. he stressed that we all need money, even the church, the priests, everyone needs money. money is not evil all in itself, but is a blessing and providence from God. He provides it for us, so that we may use it to show love. fr. franklin emphasized that money is a means to show love, and that is how we should use it-to provide for our basic needs, but much more to spread love to others. not necessarily for accumulation of stuff.
fr. franklin also spoke about self-reliance. since we were young, we strived to be self-reliant. we learn how to walk, go to school without our parents, go to college, get jobs, all in order to be self-reliant. and we grow up to be independent, responsible, and able to fend for ourselves. we are able to rely on ourselves to care for ourselves. and money allows us this reliance. when we were children, we'd ask our parents for money as we relied on them for this and other basic needs. now as adults, we rely on ourselves and our jobs to provide us with our basic needs. what fr. franklin said was really poignant, in that we need to learn not to be self-reliant, but God-reliant. i really liked that line, because it's the epitomy of "basta ikaw, Lord!" to live not for yourself, but for God. to offer everything to Him and to trust that all will be well and good. not to depend on yourself, who is a measly human who makes mistakes and is simply unreliable, but to depend on He who knows everything and is perfect in every way. it's just such a better way to live i think.
i know this stirs up conversation somewhere with some people, so please feel free to comment.
Friday, September 19, 2003
interview
so i was at mona's blog and she's participating in the photographic interview. she's a super fantastic photographer who does very professional work though she's just starting photography school. i wanted to play too, but alas, no camera. so i saw sarah's responses and yay, i can play too! you can play too if you like! just send me in the comments the url of where your answers are.
here are the original questions with my answers (mona's ?'s require deeper thinking, i'll do them later)
Today I... am nervous for the youth group meeting tonight with the oh-so-controlling mom's at our church. we're trying to start one for the teenagers, but they're just making it more complicated than necessary. we're trying to get them to back off.
The last thing I bought was... a luxurious lunch for myself yesterday at Afloat Sushi in old town pasadena. $19 just for meeh!
Out my window I can see... the top floor of the parking structure amidst the blue sky with a layer of smog.
Right now I'm wearing... my basic black & grey "uniform": black top, grey pencil-cut skirt with a side slit (wishing it was on the back), nude nylons, and my new black sexy sling-back pumps from nine west. i love these shoes! oh and dream perfume by victoria's secret.
Last fun thing I did was... laugh with my baby brother. he's not a baby, he's turning 13. but he cracks me up!
My favorite person to hang out with... my gl
My most prized possession is... my love.
First thing I did this morning was... panic, as i was late...again.
Last place I visited was... irvine, for another meeting. mind you, these meetings all have nothing to do with work. i have a ton of extracurricular involvements.
The next big thing in my life... the decision i made.
here are the original questions with my answers (mona's ?'s require deeper thinking, i'll do them later)
Today I... am nervous for the youth group meeting tonight with the oh-so-controlling mom's at our church. we're trying to start one for the teenagers, but they're just making it more complicated than necessary. we're trying to get them to back off.
The last thing I bought was... a luxurious lunch for myself yesterday at Afloat Sushi in old town pasadena. $19 just for meeh!
Out my window I can see... the top floor of the parking structure amidst the blue sky with a layer of smog.
Right now I'm wearing... my basic black & grey "uniform": black top, grey pencil-cut skirt with a side slit (wishing it was on the back), nude nylons, and my new black sexy sling-back pumps from nine west. i love these shoes! oh and dream perfume by victoria's secret.
Last fun thing I did was... laugh with my baby brother. he's not a baby, he's turning 13. but he cracks me up!
My favorite person to hang out with... my gl
My most prized possession is... my love.
First thing I did this morning was... panic, as i was late...again.
Last place I visited was... irvine, for another meeting. mind you, these meetings all have nothing to do with work. i have a ton of extracurricular involvements.
The next big thing in my life... the decision i made.
testing testing
a coworker who i've just started working with is allegedly very anal, picky, and micromanaging. i have felt it just a bit, but not so much as to irritate me. today she asked me for some files that i have at my desk, and a few minutes later, she left a message with a question that she had regarding one of the files. i properly searched for the most thorough answer that i could give her, leaving her 2 messages hoping that the information i provided her was sufficient (i'm also constantly trying to impress these people with my work, so as to keep my temp job and potentially get hired permanently). then she returned my call and said, "dorothy, that was a test and you passed with an A+!" i was confused at first because i didn't get it. like, why would someone do that? i thought i was just doing my job. the information was not very easy to find but i was resourceful and gathered as much info as possible. she came by my cube a lil later to return the files and said that she should give me a big gold star for my A+ effort. i'm rather annoyed at this because i feel like i did something useless-an unnecessary task that i wasted my time on. and i feel belittled, like she had to "test" me to see my capabilities. and that very well may have been the case, as she's never really worked with me before, but i'd rather have her go to my supervisor and tell her good things about me than straight tell me that she was just testing me. sorta like when that guy straight told cici that he was trying to "spit game" (see 09/18, 10:57am entry) if you're testing me, don't tell me. eventhough i passed with flying colors, dude, i don't want to feel like a little kid like that. ewwww.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
babysitting staying with...
...a 26 year old. hmmmm.... what's up with that? is it the only child thing? why can't parents let go? they leave for a week and they figure they need to find someone to stay with their kid-who has a full-time job and pays bills of her own. why do they treat her like she's 16? well, hell, at 16, i was left to take care of my own brothers. we sometimes leave my 12 year old brother home alone now. okay, but not for an entire week. but dude, if i were left home alone for a week, i don't think my parents would ask my aunt to stay with me, causing me to have a friend of mine stay with me instead of my aunt. anyway... differences i guess.
hormones
been having very nervous feelings lately. ever get those feelings and not know where they're coming from or why? i hate those, because you can't rationalize it and make yourself feel better. but i don't know what's worse, feeling sad and not know why or feeling nervous and not know why. because when i get those months when i'm sad, usually something will tip me over the edge and i'll cry and feel better. this nervousness... even when i get distracted by something funny, i'll laugh, but a nervous laugh. aughh. damn pms. i get no cramps, only mild bloating, some bad headaches, some backaches, but most women would say i'm lucky. but the mood swings. i drive the men in my life crazy with them. i hate it. sorry if you get caught up in my swings during this time of the month.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
things that don't last
so i just found out some of my family gossip. i'm out of the loop at times because we've got family gatherings almost every weekend and i just can't make every single one of them. but i just found out that one of my cousins (she must be like 21 or something) is getting married in january. great thing, right? except, she basically ran away from home when she graduated from high school and despite her incredible scholastic intelligence (she got into uci for goodness' sake!), did not go to any university and has trouble paying the bills now (notice, i highlighted scholastic, because her decision-making skills ain't all that). from what i know, she's living with her marine boyfriend who is like 30 (i may be wrong on the exact age, but he's significantly older than she) who bought her her car and is planning to get married in january. she doesn't have the greatest relationship with her parents and there was an incident with her wedding dress where she thought her mom was going to pay for it because her mom offered to take her dress shopping. turns out that was not the case and now my cousin's upset that she has to pay for the dress and is considering just renting one. and somehow in all this, i feel like i wasn't a good older cousin and didn't develop a relationship with her enough to give her some sort of guidance in all this. her development just went so awry, and i feel so bad for it cuz she had the greatest potential!
i'm the oldest of all my cousins here in the states. i'm not only the Ate(pronounced ah-te, meaning older sister/cousin/friend/relative) of my 2 younger brothers, but all of my cousins as well. on my mom's side there are only 3 older than me and they're all in the philippines. they look up to me and all our aunts and uncles expect me to set a good example for them. me, who do i look up to? i have an aunt who's 7 years older than me. she's like my Ate, eventhough she's really my auntie. and through all my years, she's never been afraid to set me straight when i'm being stupid. she's told me before when i've been selfish and given me advice on my relationships with my family and guys and friends. and i'm grateful to her for that. she told me once that when she saw me mess up, she couldn't help but think that she somehow didn't set a good enough example for me to follow. and now, i can't help but think the same way toward my younger cousins. i know that everyone makes their own choices, and i know my mistakes are entirely mine and could not possibly be blamed on not having a proper example. but if i can help it, i'd really like to save my cousins from making the entirely avoidable stupid mistakes that i made. my guardian angel definitely had to work overtime. i have a great person who imparts her wisdom onto me, and i'd like to share some of mine. hopefully, they'll listen. but it's hard, i remember being a teenager, thinking you knew everything and not believing anything any older person told you. my mom was just telling me that they (teenagers in general) need to just focus on developing themselves and on things that last, because this is the time when their character develops, and not focus on boyfriends and drama and whatever is fleeting. but goodness, she's been telling me that for 11 years now and i just learned that lesson to the fullest meaning last year. and i was 24! thinking about things that last and focusing on developing your character with sound morals and judgment is just not a teenage thing to do. even the advertising and fashion industry know and take advantage of that as they target this audience to promote fads and other things that don't last.
i'm the oldest of all my cousins here in the states. i'm not only the Ate(pronounced ah-te, meaning older sister/cousin/friend/relative) of my 2 younger brothers, but all of my cousins as well. on my mom's side there are only 3 older than me and they're all in the philippines. they look up to me and all our aunts and uncles expect me to set a good example for them. me, who do i look up to? i have an aunt who's 7 years older than me. she's like my Ate, eventhough she's really my auntie. and through all my years, she's never been afraid to set me straight when i'm being stupid. she's told me before when i've been selfish and given me advice on my relationships with my family and guys and friends. and i'm grateful to her for that. she told me once that when she saw me mess up, she couldn't help but think that she somehow didn't set a good enough example for me to follow. and now, i can't help but think the same way toward my younger cousins. i know that everyone makes their own choices, and i know my mistakes are entirely mine and could not possibly be blamed on not having a proper example. but if i can help it, i'd really like to save my cousins from making the entirely avoidable stupid mistakes that i made. my guardian angel definitely had to work overtime. i have a great person who imparts her wisdom onto me, and i'd like to share some of mine. hopefully, they'll listen. but it's hard, i remember being a teenager, thinking you knew everything and not believing anything any older person told you. my mom was just telling me that they (teenagers in general) need to just focus on developing themselves and on things that last, because this is the time when their character develops, and not focus on boyfriends and drama and whatever is fleeting. but goodness, she's been telling me that for 11 years now and i just learned that lesson to the fullest meaning last year. and i was 24! thinking about things that last and focusing on developing your character with sound morals and judgment is just not a teenage thing to do. even the advertising and fashion industry know and take advantage of that as they target this audience to promote fads and other things that don't last.
golf tournament
anyone golf? please come and support my church group at our golf tournament. here's the info:
Saturday, October 18th
Cresta Verde Golf Club
1295 Cresta Road
Corona, CA 91719
2 p.m. Shotgun
Mini-contests at various holes
Great prizes (including golf certificates)!
Includes a great lunch
$55.00 per player ($10 for spectators to ride)
R.S.V.P. to Dana at 949-378-0654 or email dana@getagripfoundation.com as soon as possible! Final details available upon payment. Payment must be received no later than Sept. 30th.
again, everyone is invited so please invite anybody you know that would like to play golf! and if you don't play, please come out and watch! if you wanna make any outside donations, that would be welcomed as well!
thanx for your support!
Saturday, October 18th
Cresta Verde Golf Club
1295 Cresta Road
Corona, CA 91719
2 p.m. Shotgun
Mini-contests at various holes
Great prizes (including golf certificates)!
Includes a great lunch
$55.00 per player ($10 for spectators to ride)
R.S.V.P. to Dana at 949-378-0654 or email dana@getagripfoundation.com as soon as possible! Final details available upon payment. Payment must be received no later than Sept. 30th.
again, everyone is invited so please invite anybody you know that would like to play golf! and if you don't play, please come out and watch! if you wanna make any outside donations, that would be welcomed as well!
thanx for your support!
weather
it's freeezing today! it was actually cold enough to wear my pea coat for goodness' sake. i need to buy some nice scarves that match my clothes for work-that's basically gray and black. what exciting colors i wear huh? oh, and red. hmmm, christmas present? although i'll need it before christmas definitely.
geez, maybe i need to expand the colors i wear for work. but it's business attire. not really very exciting or anything. nice and conservative, with nylons and closed-toed shoes. learned that rule the hard way too. not cool. i'd love to be a guy with just having to choose a shirt and a complimentary tie. makes life easier, not having to worry about what to wear.
geez, maybe i need to expand the colors i wear for work. but it's business attire. not really very exciting or anything. nice and conservative, with nylons and closed-toed shoes. learned that rule the hard way too. not cool. i'd love to be a guy with just having to choose a shirt and a complimentary tie. makes life easier, not having to worry about what to wear.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
lookie lookie, i have a forum
i may remove this. that host site is way slow. enjoy, as long as your patience lasts. mine's pretty short apparently. but dude, i'm in really fast connection and it takes this freakin long! i can only imagine if someone tried doing it at a slower connection. uy!
Monday, September 15, 2003
is it wednesday yet?
i have a headache, it's freezing cold in this building. i have payroll deadline tomorrow at noon, with a ton of paperwork to be processed on my desk today. i have my first anatomy exam tomorrow night.
at least wednesday. i can look forward to wednesday. *sigh* how sad is that? that it's soo early that i can't even look forward to friday yet, i have to settle for wednesday. sadness...
at least wednesday. i can look forward to wednesday. *sigh* how sad is that? that it's soo early that i can't even look forward to friday yet, i have to settle for wednesday. sadness...
"make it pink! no make it blue!
you know how weekends are breaks from the work week? i know no such thing. at least that was the case for the past few weekends, so i was really grateful for this weekend having nothing scheduled. no large event or gathering, nothing i was obligated to or committed to attend. it was glorious! had a nice, quiet night in with my glenn and just watched sleeping beauty at my house on friday. i love that movie. it's my favorite disney movie. i dunno why, cuz when i think about it, i actually don't like the lesson that's presented. it makes the woman so passive, i mean, she sleeps most of the time, for goodness' sake! in the sense of life lessons and role models, i think the best would be beauty and the beast. belle is not only beautiful, but intelligent, willing to step outside the norm and not follow the crowd, and is able to see and appreciate the inner beauty and value of a creature who may look different. with all the diversity training i've had from uci, i think this is the most culturally and socially aware film from the disney archives, with lessons of tolerance of differences and stepping outside the box.
but i don't like her big yellow dress. and i think i was just really amused by the 3 good fairies in sleeping beauty. they were really adorable when they made themselves super tiny. and their fight when they were making the dress pink, then blue, then pink, then blue! i love it!
but i don't like her big yellow dress. and i think i was just really amused by the 3 good fairies in sleeping beauty. they were really adorable when they made themselves super tiny. and their fight when they were making the dress pink, then blue, then pink, then blue! i love it!
Friday, September 12, 2003
"i feel thin, SORT OF stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."
where's that quote from? anyone wanna guess? (by the way, i don't know if i got it right verbatim) courtesy of jay & chris, i fixed the quote. 09/15/03
anyway, that's how i feel these days. spread too thin over lots of activities. but i've always been like that. my mom always told me that i do too much. and there are days like yesterday when i was sooo super stressed out. but then i caught myself thinking, hmmm, but i like it like this. it's better than being bored out of my mind! i sooo hate being bored.
but besides feeling like i'm spreading myself too thin, i really do enjoy my life right now. the things that occupy my time are important to me and my future, whether immediate (my current job to supply me money to pay for bills) or not-so-immediate (school and volunteering at that very far hospital). oh and the boyfriend... he brings me so much joy! you gotta have joy in your life. that's extremely important. and the rest, well, it's for my soul- the helping other people and contributing to society, or at least a small community is very important to the soul. but there are also a gazillion avenues to take in order to fulfill your soul. there are lots of needs, but only one you. i think i've become more conscious of where my time goes. there's so much to do, but so little time, as they say. and in the end, i have to pick and choose what to work on.
and yet, at times, i feel like i'm not being a good daughter. that's another thing i've become more conscious about. i'm trying to live my life well and do good things and get busy doing that. i live at home with my parents because it's entirely necessary as i need to not spend on rent in order to decrease this debt i've accumulated during undergrad (evil credit cards!). and i feel obligated to do stuff for my parents since i don't pay rent. but what? i clean what i can, when i'm home. but when's that? when it's time to go to sleep. that's about it. and they don't really understand why my life is like that. so i think they think i'm not a very good daughter. i dunno.... that wasn't a very well formulated thought. but there it is.
just when i think i don't know what to blog about, out it comes. enjoy the weekend! i hear it's gonna be 95 degrees!
anyway, that's how i feel these days. spread too thin over lots of activities. but i've always been like that. my mom always told me that i do too much. and there are days like yesterday when i was sooo super stressed out. but then i caught myself thinking, hmmm, but i like it like this. it's better than being bored out of my mind! i sooo hate being bored.
but besides feeling like i'm spreading myself too thin, i really do enjoy my life right now. the things that occupy my time are important to me and my future, whether immediate (my current job to supply me money to pay for bills) or not-so-immediate (school and volunteering at that very far hospital). oh and the boyfriend... he brings me so much joy! you gotta have joy in your life. that's extremely important. and the rest, well, it's for my soul- the helping other people and contributing to society, or at least a small community is very important to the soul. but there are also a gazillion avenues to take in order to fulfill your soul. there are lots of needs, but only one you. i think i've become more conscious of where my time goes. there's so much to do, but so little time, as they say. and in the end, i have to pick and choose what to work on.
and yet, at times, i feel like i'm not being a good daughter. that's another thing i've become more conscious about. i'm trying to live my life well and do good things and get busy doing that. i live at home with my parents because it's entirely necessary as i need to not spend on rent in order to decrease this debt i've accumulated during undergrad (evil credit cards!). and i feel obligated to do stuff for my parents since i don't pay rent. but what? i clean what i can, when i'm home. but when's that? when it's time to go to sleep. that's about it. and they don't really understand why my life is like that. so i think they think i'm not a very good daughter. i dunno.... that wasn't a very well formulated thought. but there it is.
just when i think i don't know what to blog about, out it comes. enjoy the weekend! i hear it's gonna be 95 degrees!
update on my aunt... not so good.
an email from my cousin that we received...
Sorry I haven't written you all for the longest time.
My whole life is focused on Mom now.
The CA is fast progressing, very aggressive. It's just a miracle now to save her and prolong her life.
She hasn't been eating so much since yesterday, I fear anorexia has already set in.
We've talked about death and dying, and we're not afraid anymore. We just promised each other that she will be there to pick me up if she goes ahead of me. And we've exchanged a lot of I Love Yous and kisses and hugs as much as I could, everyday.
Should you decide to call her, please continue encouraging her spirit to live and expect God's awesome power over her disease. If we pretend that God is healing her, we will truly receive His healing power because of our attitude of anticipation.
Please continue praying for her.
Janet
when my grandfathers died, i was a little sad, because you know, you're supposed to be sad. but i guess i was too young to understand, or i wasn't that close to them. i was 8 when my dad's dad died- "Tatay" is what we called him. and i was 14 when my mom's dad died-we called him "Dad". i was more sad for my mom because she couldn't go to the philippines for the funeral.
but tita miriam... i grew up with her and have fond memories with her and her family. we'd go visit their place a lot when i was little and she has always been just the sweetest and kindest lady. i'm starting to get really sad at the thought of her passing away.
Sorry I haven't written you all for the longest time.
My whole life is focused on Mom now.
The CA is fast progressing, very aggressive. It's just a miracle now to save her and prolong her life.
She hasn't been eating so much since yesterday, I fear anorexia has already set in.
We've talked about death and dying, and we're not afraid anymore. We just promised each other that she will be there to pick me up if she goes ahead of me. And we've exchanged a lot of I Love Yous and kisses and hugs as much as I could, everyday.
Should you decide to call her, please continue encouraging her spirit to live and expect God's awesome power over her disease. If we pretend that God is healing her, we will truly receive His healing power because of our attitude of anticipation.
Please continue praying for her.
Janet
when my grandfathers died, i was a little sad, because you know, you're supposed to be sad. but i guess i was too young to understand, or i wasn't that close to them. i was 8 when my dad's dad died- "Tatay" is what we called him. and i was 14 when my mom's dad died-we called him "Dad". i was more sad for my mom because she couldn't go to the philippines for the funeral.
but tita miriam... i grew up with her and have fond memories with her and her family. we'd go visit their place a lot when i was little and she has always been just the sweetest and kindest lady. i'm starting to get really sad at the thought of her passing away.
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
prayer request
please pray for my aunt...tita miriam. she's in the philippines and has been battling cancer. she's in the hospital and is on morphine now. my mom says she sounds really weak. she thinks my aunt's gonna die soon, cuz they're just doing pain management now, as if there's nothing left to do. her son who lives here is flying back there soon. she's my dad's eldest sister and i can tell he's sad. he was somber when he spoke to her and her husband. she's a very very sweet lady who made sure to pack us a bottle of calamansi juice concentrate when we left the philippines because my brothers and i really liked it. pray for the comfort and healing of our family too. they haven't told my grandmother. they don't want her to worry. i have a feeling she knows though. she's intuitive like that even though she's blind.
the date
saturday gl & i went on a date. *gush, gush* (i know, i know, gag me with a spoon!) we went to the getty museum! oh my goodness, mona, you'd have such a ball taking pictures of their architecture, the fabulous view, and the gardens! you definitely have to go there next time you're in town. sorry, i didn't bring my camera with me, but you all will just have to visit for yourselves!
if you're not on a budget, you also definitely have to try their Restaurant. have you ever had foie gras? oh...my...goodness...*drool* i keep hearing/reading about it when i watch the food network or in the la times food section and i really wanted to know what all the fuss was about. it's supposed to be this dish that you find only at very upscale restaurants, a pure delicacy. and it was. oh, it was soooo wonderful, it melted in your mouth. we savored every single bite of that dish. and that was just the appetizer! he had pork chops and i had duck for our entrees with some wine. our server was absolutely excellent. and we had a fantastic view of the sunset overlooking the ocean. how gorgeous to live in la!
if you're not on a budget, you also definitely have to try their Restaurant. have you ever had foie gras? oh...my...goodness...*drool* i keep hearing/reading about it when i watch the food network or in the la times food section and i really wanted to know what all the fuss was about. it's supposed to be this dish that you find only at very upscale restaurants, a pure delicacy. and it was. oh, it was soooo wonderful, it melted in your mouth. we savored every single bite of that dish. and that was just the appetizer! he had pork chops and i had duck for our entrees with some wine. our server was absolutely excellent. and we had a fantastic view of the sunset overlooking the ocean. how gorgeous to live in la!
weekend updates...
dang, i hella lag on this blogging thing. lemme recap a nice weekend...
on friday, i met glenn's cousins who just came from the philippines a couple of weeks ago. they're ages 14 (girl), 12 (boy), 9 (boy)-really cute and very talkative. it's just a hard adjustment for them because it's so very different here. especially for the eldest girl since she's a freshman in high school. she told me she was crying to her mom on the first day of school because it was so tough. everything is so different for her. in the philippines, the students stay in homeroom, while the teachers move from classroom to classroom. here of course, she has to get used to moving from classroom to classroom herself. it's hard for her socially too because she doesn't have any friends yet. she was telling me that especially on the first days of school, there's an excitement because you get to see all your friends and catch up with each other. and here, she doesn't have anyone. sadness, no? i feel for her. i moved here when i was nine and i think at the time, i tried to make it seem like i was assimilating fairly easily. and i think because i came here earlier, i probably did better than she is now. plus, the scenario was more familiar to me. i was in private catholic school in the philippines, and when i came here, i went to saint monica's in santa monica. not much different, except there were boys. i ended up with friends, although i can remember lunches when i'd spend it sitting by myself writing letters to my old friends at home. i probably didn't think much of it then, but i was probably very lonely too. the friends that i had made seemed to find other activities to do during lunch, like handball or jumprope. i couldn't jump rope. i still can't. but i'm a damn good double dutch rope turner!
on friday, i met glenn's cousins who just came from the philippines a couple of weeks ago. they're ages 14 (girl), 12 (boy), 9 (boy)-really cute and very talkative. it's just a hard adjustment for them because it's so very different here. especially for the eldest girl since she's a freshman in high school. she told me she was crying to her mom on the first day of school because it was so tough. everything is so different for her. in the philippines, the students stay in homeroom, while the teachers move from classroom to classroom. here of course, she has to get used to moving from classroom to classroom herself. it's hard for her socially too because she doesn't have any friends yet. she was telling me that especially on the first days of school, there's an excitement because you get to see all your friends and catch up with each other. and here, she doesn't have anyone. sadness, no? i feel for her. i moved here when i was nine and i think at the time, i tried to make it seem like i was assimilating fairly easily. and i think because i came here earlier, i probably did better than she is now. plus, the scenario was more familiar to me. i was in private catholic school in the philippines, and when i came here, i went to saint monica's in santa monica. not much different, except there were boys. i ended up with friends, although i can remember lunches when i'd spend it sitting by myself writing letters to my old friends at home. i probably didn't think much of it then, but i was probably very lonely too. the friends that i had made seemed to find other activities to do during lunch, like handball or jumprope. i couldn't jump rope. i still can't. but i'm a damn good double dutch rope turner!
Monday, September 08, 2003
toggle me this...toggle me that
anyone know how to do the toggle function correctly? i'm doing a trial and error thing here and i feel like there are a gazillion missing puzzle pieces in my head to this blogging business. well, i guess the journaling part, i have down. but it's the design part that calls out to me. i think it's the nitpickiness that i have, more formally known as detail-orientedness. the darn lil details just call out to me!
Saturday, September 06, 2003
the long weekend part 3
okay, it's the next weekend already and for goodness' sakes i'm still blogging about last weekend. i guess that's how good it was. or maybe i just really want to get it down so i can look back and remember this weekend.
sunday was actually a much needed relaxing day. all the past 3 weekends had been so incredibly busy that i did need a break. gl and i went to the cabazon outlets and met up with ca and jo. my aunt offered at the last minute their timeshare in palm springs because they had to come home early, so we took it, but only a few people were able to go at such last minute. it was really nice though because i had been really wanting to hang out with ca & jo for a long while now. so it was just the four of us and we swam and hung out in the pool all night long. good conversation, good friends, always good fun.
we planned to get to glen ivy early when they opened at 9:30am. did that happen? of course not! we slept in until 10 and made it down there to meet up with mi & ka a lil before noon. they didn't get there until 11:30 or so anyway. mi had gotten me a gift card for glen ivy for my birthday, which was wonderful because i didn't spend a dime that day on what could have been very expensive. i got a massage, played in the mud, lay in the hot springs spas and mineral pools, and even taught ka how to swim! it was a great day. oh, minus the scratches on my chin! i was swimming underwater with my eyes closed and i had my arms out to find the pool floor. well, my chin found it first and i popped up with my chin stinging. i look like i'm growing a beard!
thanx to everyone for a fabulous birthday weekend!
sunday was actually a much needed relaxing day. all the past 3 weekends had been so incredibly busy that i did need a break. gl and i went to the cabazon outlets and met up with ca and jo. my aunt offered at the last minute their timeshare in palm springs because they had to come home early, so we took it, but only a few people were able to go at such last minute. it was really nice though because i had been really wanting to hang out with ca & jo for a long while now. so it was just the four of us and we swam and hung out in the pool all night long. good conversation, good friends, always good fun.
we planned to get to glen ivy early when they opened at 9:30am. did that happen? of course not! we slept in until 10 and made it down there to meet up with mi & ka a lil before noon. they didn't get there until 11:30 or so anyway. mi had gotten me a gift card for glen ivy for my birthday, which was wonderful because i didn't spend a dime that day on what could have been very expensive. i got a massage, played in the mud, lay in the hot springs spas and mineral pools, and even taught ka how to swim! it was a great day. oh, minus the scratches on my chin! i was swimming underwater with my eyes closed and i had my arms out to find the pool floor. well, my chin found it first and i popped up with my chin stinging. i look like i'm growing a beard!
thanx to everyone for a fabulous birthday weekend!
Friday, September 05, 2003
life decisions
there's a decision that i had been fearing for most, if not all, of my college career. something that i felt that i never wanted but was pressured to do. and because of this i somewhat avoided it. however, it was still something that sparked and still does spark my curiosity very much. there are times when i can't seem to get away from it. not necessarily because it's always there and i just can't avoid it, but more because i'm so drawn to it...like a moth to a flame...
then there are the signs. i believe in signs. sometimes, they're as clear as day, blatant and in your face. sometimes, you have to read into the events in our life to see the hidden sign. sometimes, they're the messages that people tell you out of the blue or even the songs on the radio. and then you ask for more signs. not because you don't see the signs previously given, but just to make sure, to have confirmation. and then you get it in the homilies at mass or you open up a book and there it is. and then you can't deny it any longer. and a sequence of events start rolling down a path you never thought you'd follow. or again, like the previous paragraph, a path you didn't think was for you, one that you avoided. avoided because of fear... fear of the unknown... fear of failure... heck, fear of success.
it's funny because i never thought i'd be so comfortable about a decision that's been 7 years in the making. it was a thought that was so unnerving and now, i'm so excited about it. i can't wait to see what the future holds!
then there are the signs. i believe in signs. sometimes, they're as clear as day, blatant and in your face. sometimes, you have to read into the events in our life to see the hidden sign. sometimes, they're the messages that people tell you out of the blue or even the songs on the radio. and then you ask for more signs. not because you don't see the signs previously given, but just to make sure, to have confirmation. and then you get it in the homilies at mass or you open up a book and there it is. and then you can't deny it any longer. and a sequence of events start rolling down a path you never thought you'd follow. or again, like the previous paragraph, a path you didn't think was for you, one that you avoided. avoided because of fear... fear of the unknown... fear of failure... heck, fear of success.
it's funny because i never thought i'd be so comfortable about a decision that's been 7 years in the making. it was a thought that was so unnerving and now, i'm so excited about it. i can't wait to see what the future holds!
bay-bee-cakes
so glenn and his friends go to bible study every Thursday. i called him last night because i wanted to go to sleep already... all i gotta say is, glenn, if you wanna keep from getting embarassed from all your bros, you gotta pick up the phone yourself man! hahaha! the last time this happened was when i got the nickname “sexy”. nag-paparinig ka lang yata eh! {translated: I think you just want people to hear you! (in the context of showing off) sentiments get lost in translation.} goodness!!! hehehe!
oh my gosh, one of my co-workers just collapsed! i hope he’s okay. he and his wife are about to have their first baby, and we just had a baby shower for them a couple of weeks ago. The paramedics had to come and take him away. i hope he’s okay.
labor day/birthday weekend part 2
we went to d&b's again on friday night and played a really fun game of shuffleboard. we've been wanting to play this game forever now and we finally got to play. it was only me, glenn, mina, danny, and daniel-my friend from high school who went there after the dinner at lucille's as it was late, but we had a good time. oh my goodness, mina and i played that horseracing game again with our butts sticking out in the air and i won this time! but goodness, between that game and the boxing game, i don't need to go to the gym! it's a total body workout.
saturday was a long and tiring day at the scrc convention in the anaheim convention center. i joined the new young adult track of talks that they had and it was good, just that i was so freakin tired from the previous busy week and especially the night before. i was so disappointed actually because the talks in the morning that i was more awake for weren't all that good-they were too vague, speaking only on the surface, just grazing upon the issues that were presented. they spoke about relationships, but they had only an hour to split between 3 speakers, so they couldn't speak in depth. the talks that were really good were in the afternoon but i fell asleep during those sessions.
from what my brother and cousin said, the teen session seemed better with a segment when they invited kids to come up and say "where were you Jesus when..." there was a girl who came up and said, "where were You, Jesus, when i was being raped?" and other kids who said, "where were You, Jesus, when my mom was an alcoholic?" and "where were You, Jesus, when i was beat up by my father?" my cousin said it was very powerful and affected many people. i think the point was to get the kids to let out their frustrations, that it’s okay to be angry with God. i think it’s important for them to know that they can have a relationship like that with God. it brings him closer to their level so that they can think of Him as a friend or person close to them, not just the traditional Almighty Power who made heaven and earth.
when i went to pick up my brother, i saw the end of their sessions and i looked at the pamphlets that they handed out. there was one that was especially striking-it was this business card sized card that had a promise statement about keeping one's self pure and chaste and promising to keep from temptations. and then there's a space to sign it. i'm glad they discussed such things during the teen session. i know i definitely would have benefited from it had they had those talks when i was a teenager.
i think the best part of the convention was the mass in the evening. the community that puts on this renewal convention is a charismatic one-meaning they rely highly on the gifts of the Holy Spirit and they use this convention to renew and rejuvenate people in their spiritual journey through talks, workshops and services. one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is the gift of speaking in tongues. if any other person who didn't know what was going on came in, he would've been sooo weirded out, because it just sounds like people are sort of possessed and just speaking gibberish. i felt really disoriented actually at first because i hadn't been in that kind of environment in a long time. but when i experienced it during mass with the whole arena speaking in tongues, oh my gosh, it gave me such a rush-like a warm feeling inside of me. sometimes, i'll just be praying and in the midst of my praying, i'll get the urge to speak in tongues like that, but of course, in the middle of a church, i can't just do that cuz it'd be really weird. but at that setting there in the arena with the thousands of people there, it felt so right and i was glad that i found a place where it was encouraged to pray that way.
the most unifying moment during mass was when the entire arena said the Our Father together. i would pause at some moments just to listen and appreciate the unity that we shared at that moment. it was truly beautiful and inspiring.
saturday was a long and tiring day at the scrc convention in the anaheim convention center. i joined the new young adult track of talks that they had and it was good, just that i was so freakin tired from the previous busy week and especially the night before. i was so disappointed actually because the talks in the morning that i was more awake for weren't all that good-they were too vague, speaking only on the surface, just grazing upon the issues that were presented. they spoke about relationships, but they had only an hour to split between 3 speakers, so they couldn't speak in depth. the talks that were really good were in the afternoon but i fell asleep during those sessions.
from what my brother and cousin said, the teen session seemed better with a segment when they invited kids to come up and say "where were you Jesus when..." there was a girl who came up and said, "where were You, Jesus, when i was being raped?" and other kids who said, "where were You, Jesus, when my mom was an alcoholic?" and "where were You, Jesus, when i was beat up by my father?" my cousin said it was very powerful and affected many people. i think the point was to get the kids to let out their frustrations, that it’s okay to be angry with God. i think it’s important for them to know that they can have a relationship like that with God. it brings him closer to their level so that they can think of Him as a friend or person close to them, not just the traditional Almighty Power who made heaven and earth.
when i went to pick up my brother, i saw the end of their sessions and i looked at the pamphlets that they handed out. there was one that was especially striking-it was this business card sized card that had a promise statement about keeping one's self pure and chaste and promising to keep from temptations. and then there's a space to sign it. i'm glad they discussed such things during the teen session. i know i definitely would have benefited from it had they had those talks when i was a teenager.
i think the best part of the convention was the mass in the evening. the community that puts on this renewal convention is a charismatic one-meaning they rely highly on the gifts of the Holy Spirit and they use this convention to renew and rejuvenate people in their spiritual journey through talks, workshops and services. one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is the gift of speaking in tongues. if any other person who didn't know what was going on came in, he would've been sooo weirded out, because it just sounds like people are sort of possessed and just speaking gibberish. i felt really disoriented actually at first because i hadn't been in that kind of environment in a long time. but when i experienced it during mass with the whole arena speaking in tongues, oh my gosh, it gave me such a rush-like a warm feeling inside of me. sometimes, i'll just be praying and in the midst of my praying, i'll get the urge to speak in tongues like that, but of course, in the middle of a church, i can't just do that cuz it'd be really weird. but at that setting there in the arena with the thousands of people there, it felt so right and i was glad that i found a place where it was encouraged to pray that way.
the most unifying moment during mass was when the entire arena said the Our Father together. i would pause at some moments just to listen and appreciate the unity that we shared at that moment. it was truly beautiful and inspiring.
Thursday, September 04, 2003
heartbreak
aughhh, my heart sooo breaks for my poor cousin justin. his stupid girlfriend for a year and a half just cheated on him, and it has hit his self-esteem so badly. i told him to call me every time he feels like calling linda and he called me today. i'm glad that he's able to voice out his hurt and is not just keeping all the pain to himself until he blows up. but gosh, my heart just goes out to him!
it makes me feel so badly for all those other times that i've hurt guys in the past. to see what justin is going through makes me wish i were kinder to the ex's. but knowing how i was to them also allows me to give justin some good advice. i don't want him to just be a pathetic fool and keep trying to keep a relationship that isn't there. she obviously doesn't want to be with him, so i don't want him to seem like he's begging her to be with him. she didn't respect him enough to know his worth and she really doesn't deserve to be with such a great guy. i was telling him that he just needs to go and have fun. college is a good time for that after all. and you know what he told me? he said that he had all the opportunities to do so, being in a fraternity and all, but linda (the ex) was enough for him. he didn't need or want anything more. *sigh* how heartbreaking! my mom was even crying as he was telling us the details of the sordid story. goodness!
it makes me feel so badly for all those other times that i've hurt guys in the past. to see what justin is going through makes me wish i were kinder to the ex's. but knowing how i was to them also allows me to give justin some good advice. i don't want him to just be a pathetic fool and keep trying to keep a relationship that isn't there. she obviously doesn't want to be with him, so i don't want him to seem like he's begging her to be with him. she didn't respect him enough to know his worth and she really doesn't deserve to be with such a great guy. i was telling him that he just needs to go and have fun. college is a good time for that after all. and you know what he told me? he said that he had all the opportunities to do so, being in a fraternity and all, but linda (the ex) was enough for him. he didn't need or want anything more. *sigh* how heartbreaking! my mom was even crying as he was telling us the details of the sordid story. goodness!
lookie lookie, i got me a guestbook too! sign it, sign it!
yummmm, a quesadilla sounds good for lunch eh? lucky i have a great cafeteria downstairs for cheap! what are you guys having for lunch?
a confession
i know it's nearing this coming weekend already, and i haven't even written about my past birthday/labor day weekend. so here's part 1:
my weekend started off quite nicely with viv's going away celebration at Dave & Busters. she's going away for her Masters in Orthopedic Therapy in Boston University-her first choice! congratulations viv, we'll definitely miss you! but you'll be back in a couple years, plus there's always snowboarding trips!
it was good to hang out with our other friends as well. nice to meet and hang out with the people whose blogs i read. wow, they'll be so proud that i finally have my own too. so funny, cuz they met pudgeefeet too! you can see pictures on cicely's page and caroline's too.
i was a huge cranky panty mess on friday after work. it had just been a tiring day and i was nervous going home. i got myself a much-needed trim and a very spur-of-the-moment highlights. i wasn't happy with them at first cuz they're very golden, but it's actually nice and brightens up my face i think. when i got home, i just wanted to rest and relax for a bit, but glenn called and said that he was on his way already and for me to be ready. he was taking me out on friday for my birthday cuz he was going up to santa barbara for a wedding on saturday. but i didn't want to get ready yet, and just wanted to veg on the couch. mina called and told me that she was going out on a date with danny at Taps in brea and i complained to her that i was tired and cranky, and to top it all off, i had nothing to wear! she just told me to wear something red (i think cuz she knows i have a lot of red and that would be the fastest choice) and then she says, "hurry up!" i was thinking, for what? she said it as if she was expecting me to arrive. i finally got ready and glenn picked me up. it was so weird because he was asking me the fastest way to get to the 57 freeway when he takes that route to my house all the time. we get onto the freeway and he exits the very next exit! i was so confused and asked him, why the heck he did that? we could've just taken side streets. it was so dumb. so we were exiting off the freeway and i mentioned that mina and danny were at taps at brea-just nearby. he gets this confused look on his face, as if he turned the wrong way. and it got me all confused too. we finally arrived at lucille's bbq where i saw everyone there for my surprise birthday dinner!!! it was so wonderful to see them, especially after they all responded "no" to the celebration that i originally planned for saturday.
the confession: i knew about the surprise! sorry guys! i knew about it from the beginning because i was getting disappointed that people wouldn't be able to make it to the dinner that i was planning for saturday, so i was going to change the dinner for friday, when glenn told me that i was ruining everything cuz he was planning a surprise for me. i was sooo disappointed that he told me about it, cuz i love surprises and i was secretly hoping for a surprise. it was so funny cuz the day before at viv's party, chris says goodbye to me and says "see you tomorrow!" i just gave him a confused look and continued saying goodbye to everyone else. and when mina told me to hurry up, i just pretended to be confused too, like why would she be telling me to hurry up, as if she were the one waiting for me. thanx to everyone for coming to a wonderful birthday dinner! the food was great! the cake was great! the company was the best!
the best surprise: the huge bouquet of flowers from my glenn! that was really nice cuz he didn't even know that i've always wanted one of those. he's so funny, cuz he picked them up at alhambra and was calling me to get directions. when i asked him why he was there, he said he just wanted to take the 10 freeway home, which was so incredibly out of the way and more traffic congested than what he normally takes! but it was really wonderful how he made me feel so special on my birthday. he orchestrated the entire event, and even after i had "ruined" the surprise, he still managed to surprise me. thanx glenn!!! you're the bestest!
my weekend started off quite nicely with viv's going away celebration at Dave & Busters. she's going away for her Masters in Orthopedic Therapy in Boston University-her first choice! congratulations viv, we'll definitely miss you! but you'll be back in a couple years, plus there's always snowboarding trips!
it was good to hang out with our other friends as well. nice to meet and hang out with the people whose blogs i read. wow, they'll be so proud that i finally have my own too. so funny, cuz they met pudgeefeet too! you can see pictures on cicely's page and caroline's too.
i was a huge cranky panty mess on friday after work. it had just been a tiring day and i was nervous going home. i got myself a much-needed trim and a very spur-of-the-moment highlights. i wasn't happy with them at first cuz they're very golden, but it's actually nice and brightens up my face i think. when i got home, i just wanted to rest and relax for a bit, but glenn called and said that he was on his way already and for me to be ready. he was taking me out on friday for my birthday cuz he was going up to santa barbara for a wedding on saturday. but i didn't want to get ready yet, and just wanted to veg on the couch. mina called and told me that she was going out on a date with danny at Taps in brea and i complained to her that i was tired and cranky, and to top it all off, i had nothing to wear! she just told me to wear something red (i think cuz she knows i have a lot of red and that would be the fastest choice) and then she says, "hurry up!" i was thinking, for what? she said it as if she was expecting me to arrive. i finally got ready and glenn picked me up. it was so weird because he was asking me the fastest way to get to the 57 freeway when he takes that route to my house all the time. we get onto the freeway and he exits the very next exit! i was so confused and asked him, why the heck he did that? we could've just taken side streets. it was so dumb. so we were exiting off the freeway and i mentioned that mina and danny were at taps at brea-just nearby. he gets this confused look on his face, as if he turned the wrong way. and it got me all confused too. we finally arrived at lucille's bbq where i saw everyone there for my surprise birthday dinner!!! it was so wonderful to see them, especially after they all responded "no" to the celebration that i originally planned for saturday.
the confession: i knew about the surprise! sorry guys! i knew about it from the beginning because i was getting disappointed that people wouldn't be able to make it to the dinner that i was planning for saturday, so i was going to change the dinner for friday, when glenn told me that i was ruining everything cuz he was planning a surprise for me. i was sooo disappointed that he told me about it, cuz i love surprises and i was secretly hoping for a surprise. it was so funny cuz the day before at viv's party, chris says goodbye to me and says "see you tomorrow!" i just gave him a confused look and continued saying goodbye to everyone else. and when mina told me to hurry up, i just pretended to be confused too, like why would she be telling me to hurry up, as if she were the one waiting for me. thanx to everyone for coming to a wonderful birthday dinner! the food was great! the cake was great! the company was the best!
the best surprise: the huge bouquet of flowers from my glenn! that was really nice cuz he didn't even know that i've always wanted one of those. he's so funny, cuz he picked them up at alhambra and was calling me to get directions. when i asked him why he was there, he said he just wanted to take the 10 freeway home, which was so incredibly out of the way and more traffic congested than what he normally takes! but it was really wonderful how he made me feel so special on my birthday. he orchestrated the entire event, and even after i had "ruined" the surprise, he still managed to surprise me. thanx glenn!!! you're the bestest!
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
zero to...well, maybe like a 3
i was gonna leave this comment in my tagboard wheni realized, "oh, i should blog about this!" so here it is:
dang, i feel like i went from zero to novice in such a short time. i didn't exactly blog, but geez, i feel like this space is so much more personalized now. and i've learned sooo much! thanx to art and cici again for the improvements. lookie what i did! whoohoo!
dang, i feel like i went from zero to novice in such a short time. i didn't exactly blog, but geez, i feel like this space is so much more personalized now. and i've learned sooo much! thanx to art and cici again for the improvements. lookie what i did! whoohoo!
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
oh my goodness, i have a scrolling marqueeee!!!! thanx to art and cici!
quotable quotes
-
"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks
nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid
suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, live, and love."
~unknown
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
~ Abraham Lincoln
"live a life that others will remember years from now, NOT because it pointed to you but because of how it pointed to the One who made you."
~ Mark Hart, the Bible Geek
"we grow up learning to become self-reliant, but really we need to be God-reliant"
"we could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box"
"never wound hearts that love u, never give them the endless pain, because wounded hearts are like roses that never bloom"
"there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we'd let go"
